Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, make most woman cry, reinforce to you that e-mail spam sucks, and never actually come close to reality?!?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You'll see no cutesy little smiley faces here. Just the stone cold truth of what a great real friendship actually is.




1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk, plan revenge, and then execute the plan against the sorry bastard\crazy bitch that made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever it is that's choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will congratulate you on getting laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get you f'ing pansy.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit your Goddamn whining about it.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you stay confused -- I will call you a MF'ing idiot, punch you, and have another beer over your stupidity.

8. When you are sick -- Stay the F away from me until you're better sicko! I don't want whatever the hell it is you have.

9. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy and\or drunk ***.

10. When you are in pain -- I will comfort you. By kicking you in the ***** and then asking how whatever it was that hurt before, feels now.


Finally, in summary, let me close by saying:

"Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth."

 

hahaha, nice... that pretty much sums up all of my friends.

 

LOL thats great.

 

Good stuff...

 

thats great