Mustang Boards - None Of That Sissy Crap Here!!!

Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, make most woman cry, reinforce to you that e-mail spam sucks, and never actually come close to reality?!?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You'll see no cutesy little smiley faces here. Just the stone cold truth of what a great real friendship actually is.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk, plan revenge, and then execute the plan against the sorry bastard\crazy bitch that made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever it is that's choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will congratulate you on getting laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get you f'ing pansy.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit your Goddamn whining about it.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you stay confused -- I will call you a MF'ing idiot, punch you, and have another beer over your stupidity.

8. When you are sick -- Stay the F away from me until you're better sicko! I don't want whatever the hell it is you have.

9. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy and\or drunk ass.

10. When you are in pain -- I will comfort you. By kicking you in the balls and then asking how whatever it was that hurt before, feels now.

Finally, in summary, let me close by saying:

"Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth."