So as of 9:53 a.m. this morning my father was pronounced dead.

This morning he decided he'd hang himself in their basement and commit suicide.

I don't even know what to do, or where to go. This was completely 100% out of the blue.

My parents have been having financial road bumps, but nothing that couldn't be fixed over time. He just selfishly let his bad thoughts take over.

I'm not doing this for attention, I just really need some help. I have no idea what to do, or how we're going to make it.


The one thing I do know is that we're taking him back to Tennessee to have him buried with his father and where all the rest of our family is. The issue just comes down to money, and I have no idea how we're going to afford the transport of him or the actual burial.

The thing that kills me the most is that his own father did this to him. His own father committed suicide and he hated him for that, but now he has done the same thing to me, my mother and my sister.

 

Thats a bit deep to be bringing to the ******** of the forum.

Take a look at his will and go from there.

 

damn man that sucks. I hope it all works out. Really don't have much in the way of advice, but you and your family will be in my prayers.

 

Wow. I was not expecting that.

I'm sorry to hear man...I really haven't got any idea what to tell you other than to stay strong.

 

Holy crap man. Im really sorry to hear this. Makes all my issues pale in comparison.

My only advice for transporting your father is focus on the solution not the problem. You need to make a plan, think things through make some calls, find out everything you need to know then you have a goal. Break it out into steps and focus on one part at a time. The one thing you cant control is time will pass and as it passes things will unfold. before you know it you will be through the worst of it.

you have my upmost sympathies, keep your head about you and stay strong for your family, but not at the sacrifice of your own mental well being.

you will find a way through this. Im sorry man.

 

Holy crap man.. I just honestly don't think that words could express how sorry I am for you and your family. Nothing that I can say will be enough.

Try to stay strong, your Mustang family is here for you if you need it.


I know it seems awkward, but did he not have any kind of life insurance, through work, health insurance, anything? My health insurance policy has a $50,000 term life policy built in..

 

He had $100,000, but the issue comes with the suicide. We don't know if there is a clause about it or not. The Ford people don't work on weekends, so that means it'll be til Monday until me know anything.

He was 39 and completely healthy, he didn't have a will.



I know you guys see this as a shocker and to be completely honest I have the exact same feelings. Just Monday we were looking at youtube videos laughing our asses off together and then three days later this happens.

And the fact that just last night he told my mom and sister that everything would be okay. That all of this was materialistic and that they could make it through this together. Then this morning before my mom left for work he kissed her, said he loved her, and that he'd see her when she came back home in a few hours.

It just does not seem real. He always had problems telling anyone how he felt and showing his emotions, but I would not think with what he went through with his father committing suicide that he'd do the same.

 

I dont know what to say. deepest condolences go out to you man. I hope you get through the best way you can.

 

That's very sad news man. One thing for sure is, your Dad was in a lot of pain. That's probably, the only thing, that could make someone take thier own life. His own fathers suicide probably weighed very heavy on him his entire life also. Maybe he felt some blame on himself. But still I'm sorry to hear bad news like that. He also may have thought the financial benefits of being dead would outweigh his own financial worth. But by commiting suicide, it's gonna be null and void. Not sure what else to say except, you and your family can find support from others who have gone through this, Probably very locally too. It helps to hear others similar stories and find how they cope with it. Don't go it alone. Good luck, man. Keep a positive outlook.

 

I just can't tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I've seen how this impacts family and it's hard, very hard. Please don't try to tuff it out, there are many support groups and counselors that are out there to help you and your family get through this.

I wish all the best and you will be in my prayers.

Is there a place to send cards or donations?

 

I cannot believe what I am reading. My prayers are with you and your family.

 

I very sorry man. Stick around friends and family, talk to people about it. When my grandfather died, it didn't even seem real till the day of the funeral, most of it seemed like a dream, and then hits hard.

 

Thank you. All of you. It's harder for me simply because of my mother. Her being upset is the biggest pain I could ever receive. I appreciate everything all of you guys said, and I thank you with the deepest part of my heart.

As of right now I don't know. I mean I could give you my address if you wanted to send something.

 

Id like to take up a collection for 08mustang_gt. This will be for his fathers burial fund. Please send your donations to paypal@squarerootofone.com and I'll forward all proceeds to 08mustang_gt. Mark all donations with the subject "08mustang Tragedy Relief Fund".

Dude... I can't tell you how bad I feel for you. I've watched 2 members of my family try to kill themselves in front of me. It's a **** sammich when it fails and I can't imagine how much worse when it succeeds. All I can do for you is try and help get your dad interred with some dignity.

Try not to hold it against him. He was just as alone in his head as you are now. He just didn't know how to deal with it. Remember how much you loved him and him you, remember he was a man like you and remember that you need to be forgiving of his selfishness so you don't ruin the memory. Don't let the manner of his death be the defining characteristic of how you hold him in your heart. Let his daily love and sense of responsibility to you be the thing that defines him. His death was only 1 day... his life was the rest of them.

 

Thank you r3d. The hardest thing was coming home to find him hanging in the basement, and then in a reaction I grabbed the scissors laying on the table next to him and cut him down but I couldn't catch him. I feel so bad, and I could tell right away that he wasn't able to be brought back because his lips were pure blue.

I couldn't sleep at all last night, that was the only image that I could see when I closed my eyes.

I don't hold it against him, and I know exactly how he felt when he did it. And I know that as soon as he did he regretted it. My father would give anyone the shirt off of his back, but much like Jack he always felt like he was getting nothing in return for it. The fact that he'd never talk to anyone about how he felt made matters even worse.

He sits and reads forums on the internet about them closing the Ford plant here in KC and then gets stressed out, and the financial problems we had already didn't make things any less stressful. He just couldn't handle it, and I feel bad for not being able to help. I know it's not my fault and I don't blame this on anyone, but I also don't hate him for what he did.

Like you said r3d it was a one day mistake for a lifetime of doing everything possible right.

 

i am very sorry for your lose man, i hate to see any one have to deal with this. stay strong ill pray for you.

 

I'm sorry to hear that. I don't really know what to say bro.

 

Most life insurance policies only have a suicide clause for the first 13mo - 3 years. I hope for you and your families' sake that will be the case.

I'm sorry to be talking so much about the money side, but I know how important that part is in these types of situations. Just make sure you are careful with whatever money you end up getting, please don't be like most people and just blow it. Pay things off, credit cards, etc.

 

May god be with you and your family in these dark hours, as my heart and prayers are.

 

Condolences to you and your family bro.

 

Thank you guys, all of you. I appreciate everything from you guys and it truly helps the most to know that people care. Even though some of you guys (and girls) may seem like ******** sometime I know you guys aren't, and this truly shows that.

To all of you my sincere thanks is given. And thank you guys for all of your advice and help. I know it'll take time and I'm taking as much time as I need.

Once again, thank you all. You guys are a second family to me even though I don't truly know many of you I love this place and all of you guys.

 

dude..I don't even know what to say. I couldn't imagine...

I'm so sorry to hear that. stay strong man

 

I'm very sorry to hear about what has gone on within your life.

From a person who has been there and failed, you will never know what was going through your dads mind.

Be the person to never know that. Always keep yourself above that level, one step better. Focus on yourself, and your loved ones, and if anything ever happened, what would really happen without you.

Some people take their lives for granted, unfortunately, some of the best will never really know how much they meant to us. If you ever need anything, just pm me, I'm up at all sorts of the night, I'll give you my cell, whatever man.

My heart, and my prayers go out to you.

 

Sorry to hear that man.

 

Thanks man. I don't want to know what he was feeling at the time, and as you said I'll try my hardest to keep myself out of that rut. It's so hard just knowing that he felt so bad, but didn't express it to any of us. He just hid it from us and acted as everything was okay.


I appreciate everything you guys have done, and I cannot even begin to express how much this means to me and how much just reading all of your responses makes it twice as easy.

All I can really say is thank you.

As of right now, we're leaving for Tennessee tomorrow and the funeral will be between Wednesday and Friday. Right now we do not know for sure.

 

Your definetly one tough dude. So you'll be fine!

 

Thanks man. I appreciate that a lot.

 

6.17am on March 2nd, 2007, I received a phone call. My father was on the other line, telling me that my mother was dead. Today, she would have been 50 years old. Tomorrow will be 3 years ago that I lost her. It still feels like it all happened yesterday.

With that being said, my eyes are welled up with tears right now. I know exactly how you feel. I miss my mom with everything I have, every waking moment, of every day of my life and that will never change.

My first thoughts, besides total devastation were that I was so pissed at my mom. How could she do this to me, my dad, and my little brother? How could she be so selfish? Her mom died when she was 10, so she knew how it felt. We had no warning signs and it was sudden as hell. See the similarities in our stories here?

Truth is, you may feel like his decision is 'selfish', but what you need to know is that people don't commit suicide because they are selfish. It took me some time to realize that my mom did it because she had to have felt that things were that goddamn bad, that there was no chance they could have gotten better. Your dad probably thought the same thing. He must have felt like there was absolutely nothing he could do and felt utterly hopeless. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. People that committ suicide aren't thinking about that. They're thinking that things are never going to get better and they're in too much pain to sit around and wait for life to come around.

Take it day by day. This is some hard-*** **** to go through. When my mom died, I didn't eat for 3 weeks. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't do anything but think about her. Time will not heal your wounds, ever... but it will make them more tolerable. You've got to do what you can within yourself to make that time easier for you.

Also, don't beat yourself up thinking 'what if this', 'what if that'. I did enough of that for the both of us. You will never know the answers, no matter how much you wonder about it. No one knows what's going on in the mind of someone who takes their own life, except for the person who is doing the taking. That's why suicide is so unfortunate. It feels like there is a big gaping wound in your soul because the ones who are left behind will never know why. It's an end that will ultimately lead to no one having closure. The only closure you can get is to accept the lack of closure as closure, and to learn to forgive your dad. As the days go by, that will all get easier.

Try to find a funeral home that will work with you. There are some here that will allow payments. Try to get a loan if you have to. Again, I had the same problem with my mom. I ended up draining half my savings to help pay for her funeral.

The most important thing is; you need to give yourself time to grieve and time to heal. This will be the hardest thing you will ever have to deal with in your life (at least I ******* hope so). After you emerge from this hell, you will find yourself emotionally stronger, at least I did. After you get through this, everything else will be a breeze.

Sorry for the book. I just want you to know that you are not alone. If you need any advice, PM me and I mean that from the bottom of my little black heart.

I wish you and your family the best, hun. My heart really does go out to you.

 

I am so sorry to hear man. I dont know what to say.