Too funny I had to repost.

Termi-addict on svtp wrote:

When your women wont put out

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One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while sh e tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where se picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all

dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch w ith my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs a woman.'

and just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that ***** knows I'm smarter than her.

 

Note to self take the old lady shopping.
That is some funny ****.

 

I've read that before, but it's awesome every time.

If I was her, I would have laughed at his cleverness... then I would have kicked him in the *******, stole his credit card out of his pocket while he was trying to catch his breath from me kicking his nuts into his lungs, and I would buy my stuff anyway. Who's smarter now, huh? HUH?

 

clever...though i dont have a woman...lol

 

I've seen that several times before, but it just gets better every time I read it.

 

I have never had that problem


word of advice marry a horny woman

 

Hah. That is, and let me be perfectly clear...******* HILLARIOUS.

However, I dont think I would bother going through that whole elaborate scheme, because I hate shopping with chics. My secret is the cold shoulder if my girl denies me my right to her vagina. Pisses her off every time. And then we'll argue for a day, maybe two, and then have amazing make-up sex. Thats my elaborate plan. ; D

 

Oh man that is great. I am crying right now at work!

 

***** of steel!

 

Lol yea ive read this before, and EVERY time it puts a shiteating grin on my face.

 

Too perfect! So amazing! Must be very rewarding to get payback, it sucks getting your hopes up.

 

Thats priceless!

 

lol