FML man.

it sucks to be me!

I have been dealing with constant bullshit non stop for the last 3 weeks.

The old lady and i are getting a divorce. We tried to work through things but certain things have been done and unless both of us are trying to put in the effort and sacrifice we cant ge it patched up. I cant do everything myself. Not going to get into details surrounding for now, maybe after the divorce. but ive been in a very very bad place the last few weeks.

I never knew it was possible to feel this bad. on some days i feel somewhat normal, but it is amazing what sets that off and destroys your whole world all over again. its hard to keep my mind off things.

my honda's brakes went out on me. shitty. but not the end of the world, in the meantime im borrowing my ol mans Benz 230 Kompressor. **** gas mileage and kind of chic in my view. cant wait to get the brakes fixed but it is ******* COLD out here.

monday i get called by my sons dentist, his teeth are messed up in front, one got cracked, we gotta get it fixed. they call me up to get my end of the payment, turns out i have to pat $745.00 out of pocket, AFTER insurance. The worst part is my flex spending account is cashed out, new one with $3000 kicks in on january 1st, but the dentist says logan cannot wait a few extra weeks, so im stuck with it. I got the payment made. **** that is a lot of money.

Then yesterday the dogs knock down the xmas tree, totally busted it. had to buy a new one. there goes another $100. They also shattered an ornament my that has MAJOR sentimental attachment to. Of course it ends up being my fault.

Today i check the mail, $118 dental bill for the wife. Plus 9 bills from logan's blood clinic for $20 each.

thats over 1,000 in medical since monday, the worst part is i cant afford it, im doing my best trying to give my kids one more normal at home family christmas and it seems like life is trying to beat me down as much as possible.

and while all of this is happening i have to figure out how i can afford a divorce, keeping the house is not an option at this point im gonna have to sell it. i was hoping i could tap my 401k if needed as an emergency backup, but i cant while im employed. when bills are said and done i dont have enough for child care. wife doesent make squat. so house is going to have to go, but first i need to finish up some remodeling work i never quite completed and replace the basement carpet. more money. by the time the sale is done and real estate fees are done, i probavbly will not have a penny left in my name.

So here is 2009 Recap for Jack.

Financially screwed
best friend dead
Getting a divorce
losing house

can i just fast forward a year to where i have things figured out?

art least i have a job.


anyone who is a connection on my facebook, keep any comments off of there please. i dont need that drama too.

 

I sorry Mister Jack. I thought i had it bad by losing my job. I hope everything works itself out for you sir.

 

wow i really feel bad for you man

 

Sorry Chris.... I kind of had a feeling something was goin' down. Stay strong brother, we're here for you if you need us.

 

yeah, the situation around the divorce is bad enough, but what makes it unbearable is all this extra crap$300 bill here, $700 bill there, brakes went out, neeed new christmas tree, etc, etc.

its a never ending stream of bullshit.

something good HAS to happen to me here soon.

See, this is why i dont believe in Karma.

I may be a bit squirrly on the forums, but all in all im a very grounded person, ive dont everything i could do to be a supporting father, a great husband, a good friend, i dont steal, cheat, or screw people over. I take care of myself and my own, i work hard and earn everything i have, and for some reason im just getting **** on repeatdly.

boy, i cant wait to see what i get tomorrow.

 

things will get better for you, usually things get worse before they get better. Look at it this way, once things are as bad as they possibly can be, things can only get better from there. Once you are as low as you can go, up is the only other way to go. keep up the proverbial fight. If you get knocked down 100x, then dust yourself off and get back up 100x. Try and stay positive even though it seems impossible Good Luck mane, and dont worry about tommorrow, it will play itself out on its own

 

Damn.......... just damn

 

Things will get better. It might be a while, but eventually they will.

Until then, you'll just have to tough it out and distract yourself with your photography.

 

+1 dude. Try and find something constructive and productive to fill your time and keep your mind off ****. Since money is tight, dust off that ole bench and start pumping that **** out, its free, and you can get some frustration out on them weights

 

Hey man sorry to hear about all that. I will be praying for you man. Let me know if there is anything i can do.

 

**** Chris I'm sorry to hear that.

Relationships because of a kid rarely last, but at least you tried right? Getting a divorce this early on in his life will be A LOT better than if you waited. I've been through it..I'm glad I was young.

Sucks you're losing your house man. It's a really nice place especially with all the damn work you've put into it. Where are you gonna move?


If you need a friend man, I'm a short drive away. Some auto help or a few rounds of beers on me just holler at me. I'm dead serious..anytime. ****, I've known you longer than most of the friends I have now lol.

 

****. best of luck to you man. Thats gotta be some hard **** to go through.

 

we havent discussed things much because we just want to get through the holidays, she doesent seem to want anything from me, just to have her stuff and be able to move out with tyler. I will likely get primary custody of logan which i definatly want, and i think she would be happy with that so she isnt worrying about 2 kids constantly, just the one and she could see logan whenever she wants. She is not interested in home equity, 401k, or even alimony which she probably wouldnt qualiy for anyways. Another reason i think ill get primary on Logan is becase having a 8 year old and 2 year old from 2 dads is not a big selling point when trying to meet guys.

however for me logan would be like spanish fly. There is something about a single dad with a cute little boy that a lot of women find irrestible.


the problem is when she moves out she will be working full time instead of part time, so between 2:30-5:30 we will both be at work, we have to get day care, which is going to ve VERY hard to afford. I will likely have to pick up a roomate to buy some time. Spend another year with the house, paint it, fix everything up, finish the projects ive started, then hopefully sell it late fall of 2010 or early in spring of 2011.

once i get the house sold off, i cut my mortgage 50% by going to rent. maybe get a townhome or something.

right now my main goal is keeping the peace. keep the family life going. get through new years then work things out with her to figure out how to do the divorce as easily as possible.

 

Well ****, that really sucks Jack. I'm sorry to hear things aren't working out for you. Though you've never seemed like the type of person who would accept only what was laid out infront of him and I'm sure you will get everything figured out and be back on track sooner rather than later in life. Hang tough man.

 

I know exactly what your dealling with man, I have been there a few yrs back myself...no kids or house involved, but I ended up getting my 98 mustang repo'd because the ex didnt bother making payments on it for like 3mon. in order to afford to get her own place...

Do what the others said about trying to keep yourself motivated and keep your mind busy, I ended up at the gym 3 x a week to help, and I mean I would stay there till like till 9 on fridays!

So try to keep your appetite up, I know mine dropped like crazy, I had no desire for eating. Try to surround yourself by positive people as much as you can.

 

That's a serious lot of **** you're goin' through man. Pardon me if I don't join the "it's gonna be alright" club. Seems like you've been working pretty hard on making it alright and you've got a plan. Things don't just work themselves out, we have to put in the effort to get them to work out. But it's easy to get overwhelmed in situations like yours and you're doin a damn fine job of staying afloat and working it out.

Keep on hanging in there and look for the good stuff and you'll find it.

 

I hate 2 read this. I'm not a karma guy either.
Just look around at all the people in this world that need 2 b in jail that walk free. It seems like the scum of the earth live better than I do. U just got to keep ur head on straight and stay positive.

 

yay, i have a financially screwed buddy! at least i'm not alone anymore. we can comfort eachother in our time of need, Jack.


seriously, i hope it works out for you, because i need it to work out for me on my end. keep your job, and keep working hard and it will get better. just keep that job no matter what. don't lose it. your employment is your only respite in your time of need.

 

Well my dad always says bad luck comes in pairs of 3..soo your bound for good luck soon right? Yes i know your not a karma guy sometimes im not either, but like everyones said, stick with your true friends and keep your mind off things if possible. Hope everything gets solved and worked out man..

 

Thanks everyone. its been hell. i remember going through all the fears of when logan had his heart surgery i dunno whats worse. oh yah, i just found out, tags are due on the honda. $50




Hey **** you and your airbrushed abs.
lol

job is one thing that i can say is secure. our company is doing awesome.

 

I'm real sorry, Chris. I know that I have nothing to say that would instantly cheer you up, so I'll just keep this sort and let you know that I'll be keeping you in my prayers and I hope that it all works out somehow. And if you need anything you know how to contact me.

 

ok not to be like retarded or anything but people are calling you Jack and Chris ? lol which one is it? haha

 

Oh how awesome. My wife just called. The plates for my honda are due. They are $50 bucks this year instead of 20 like every year prior.

how fantastic.

its like im in some sort of fucked up russian roulette where misfortune is crammed into every chamber.

my name is chris, i just use Jack the Ripper as an online name.

 

well if it helps any...that was a great metaphor.

 

thanks i was rather proud of that one myself. lol

 

Take this as an opportunity to make a new start with your son. Stay in good terms with your wife to make your life easier.

 

Damn I'm sorry to hear about your luck. I hope that everything works out for the best and things pick up for you soon.

 

Still living together at this point. Im doing everything i can to be the most agreeable person i can. For the most part being friendly is pretty easy, i find myself sometimes working real hard to supress my feelings and put on a smile. She doesent have a lot of footing in this divorce for making demandsm, untill she realizes she can hire a $500/hr lawyer and stiff me with the bill.

lol

EDIT: One of the most important things to understand in a situation like this is while i may feel trapped, cornered, and bloody beaten and bruised lashing out to anyone right now will only result in more problems down the road. It feels unfair, but i never believed things had to be fair. sometimes its your turn to take a bit of the **** sammich. or in this case, bite after bite after bite. Grin & bear it. stay strong, focus on the solution not the problem, let your head guide you with reason rather than following emotional outbursts.

I definatly have a new appreciation for the boy. The wife and stepson will no longer be my responsibility in a few months. Logan will be all i have left of the family.

im going to be fine once i get past this financial hurdle. If i get the house sold ill be in fine shape to raise the boy and pay for everything including daycare.

it will be nice having my independance and freedom back. Im certainly not going to jump into any serious relationships or anything untill i have the two of us squared away.

I took this one a few days ago. My little buddy. growing up on me FAST!

 

Well, looks like someone needs to grab a shovel and start digging out of the **** hole called life.

Sorry 'bout your luck.

 

Dammit. Jack. I really hate to hear your situation. I thought I had problems with my family, but hearing about this, mine fail in comparison. One of my worst fears is divorce from my wife. Reason is because I love and need her in my life. I think back to all the failed realtionships I've had and feel blessed I finally found my true soulmate. I kinda hope you don't feel that way because that would be a crippling emotion to go through.

And, No, my marriage is not perfect and all roses and stuff, we argue all the time about big stuff and little stuff. And it's always stressful to endure the day without being happy with each other. I could not imagine trying to play nice with her just for the holiday effect. (sorry). I would give her the cold shoulder and give hints about how YOU and Logan are gonna be just fine without her. If for no other reason, just to give you some piece of mind..

Sorry to ramble Bro, but You are living my worst nightmare.. Hope you can handle better than I think I would..