OK. I probably shouldn't get this personal about my family but dammit.. I'm about to go sarge on my sons ***, and his little friends asses too.. I'll try to make this short, but I'm at my wits endd here.

To start, he's 17 this week. He has been smoking pot, I've confiscated 3 or 4 bowls, 2 nice ones I kept, and 2 homemade ones, ( very functional I might add).. Pot is not so much a big deal with me or my wife. ( we were toking well into our late 20's.) We don't smoke it anymore. Haven't for at least 15 years..

Anyway, I found my oregano spice jar in his room 2 days ago. I laughed and showed my wife. LOL. He must have been desparate..

Well Gaddammit, My Gout kicked in on my foot last night, ( I get gout in my big toe and my knee about once a year, maybe twice).

I always keep my meds for it (prescripton) with all of our other OTC meds we old *** people need to survive the day..

Went to look for my gout meds and they're fcking gone.. I'm 95 % sure I had at least 4 left. I would say 100% but I can't be that sure bout anything anymore..

Well Now I'll have to get a new presciption. I'm already stressed about my arm, now my fcking gout, and going to a clinic with the fcking swine flu floating around..

I'm thinking about banning all his little druggie friends from my house. This will cause a big riff cause he's 17. If you know what I mean..

Plus pot is making him Stoopid. his grades suck and he stays up all night on weekends, I love my son and i want to give him his freedom, But dammit he aint gonna take my meds i need to keep working just because He might get a small buzz from them..

Sorry so long but I really had to vent and my wife is asleep.. Luckely I had 2 pills at work and if I can catch my gout soon enough 1 or 2 pills will work, If not I'm fucked for about a week if it goes full blown.. You can't walk at all with gout in your foot or knee.

I'm thinking it's time to give an ultimatum on any type drug use in my house.. No more MR Nice DAD..

 

I don't have kids, but I'll put my 2 cents in regardless.

Just smoking a little pot wouldn't have given me too much cause for alarm, but if my son were taking my meds (that I obviously needed) things would not be so happy around the household anymore. That's just blatantly wrong and he's no longer just harming himself, but he's also harming you. Do what you gotta do.

 

Well, seeing as how I'm not much older then your son.. I'll give ya what my dad did to me..

So, to start with, I won't **** with my dad, when I was 14-15, I wouldn't **** with my dad. But anyways, he would drug test me, randomly, whenever he felt like it, if I came up positive, I would get anything, and everything I loved and owned taken from me. Television, phone, stereo, computer, all of it, didn't matter what I needed it for.

No going out, no friend over, nothing. Period.

If I decided to go against that, he would simply beat my ***, throw me in the truck, and take me to the juvenile hall. Down here, you can actually pay to have your kid in jail. If they are out of control, then off they go.

I would stay in there oh...until he felt it was enough punishment.

Now, to keep me from going all retarded when I was 18 was simply "Son, if you don't get a diploma, you won't get a good job. If you want to **** around with drugs, you'll end up in two places, in prison, or in the ground. I do this because I don't want to see you have to go through what I've had to go through."

Hey, it worked. I wasn't allowed to smoke weed, or drink when I was in highschool.. if I did, the minimum would be getting my *** beat. *shrug*

Idk, when I have kids, they start that ****..I'll do the same process as my dad.. *** beatings and juvie..good times.

 

If I had a kid and I found out they were smoking pot I wouldn't be too upset but more worried if he was smart about smoking it. If he was gunna do something stupid, I'd hope he was at least smart about it, you know. If he was just chilling at a buddies house smoking a blunt every now and then and just having a good time, I wouldn't care. If he was out smoking in public risking getting caught and doing stupid **** such as driving and taking risks I would have a talk and tell him calm down with that ****.

Him taking your prescriptions to either sell or popping for a little buzz I wouldn't put up with though. That's ridiculous and he should know damn well better than not only do that to you, but to himself as well.

I smoked a fat one tonight actually.

 

Thanks for that. The only problem with me smacking around my son is.

He's 6'0" 215 lbs. I'm 5' 10" 185 lbs. I can take him down with plenty of hurting left for him if he wants to get back up. But I'm not sure if I can get mad enough to give him the full smackdown he will need.. ( he's still my liitle boy in my eyes)..

My wife would probably try to intervene and she still has alot of apron strings tied up on this matter.

I'm worried that he might do something to her when I aint around, She says he wont, but he is much bigger than her. And If that happens I'm going to jail..

He's respectful with his mother, even more with me but he always denies the drug use. Geez, He thinks we're not smart enough to realize he's even smoking pot.. Anyway I'm gonna sit him and his lil cronies down, and lay the law. It ain't gonna happen in my house no more.. Dammit..

 

Well I'll get you my perspective.

I have a son that is sixteen and he is a good kid for the most part. He is very respectful and helpful but still a teenager. We've always kept him on a pretty short leash and he's just getting his first dose of independence since he got his license.

I can't say what he will or won't do but he knows for certain what the cost will be if he ***** up!!!

Being that I am a nurse, drugs are not tolerated at all in my house. I see way too much in my line of work and nothing good ever comes from it. It's a waste of money, time and energy, especially when they can't even make good decisions sober.

I don't play in my house, my son is nearly six feet tall (I'm 5'2") and has a good twenty pounds on me and knows that I will kick his *** nine ways to Sunday if I even suspect he's doing anything to include alcohol. Not to mention the removal of any and every thing he holds dear.

There is just no room for mistakes or poor judgement any more, I see kids die every week that had drugs/alcohol involved.

As far as the scripts go, you need to have a serious "come to Jesus meeting" with these kids. Those drugs are no joke and they can seriously screw themselves up doing prescription drugs and streets drugs. And death doesn't usually scare teens but the loss of functioning does, like impotence and sitting in wheel chair and drooling for the rest of their lives.

I have a unique perspective on this and I get on a soap box but I've had to watch too many parents grieve needlessly.

 

Rebel, I am a father of 3 and I know kinda what you are going though. My daughter started a bunch of dumb **** when she was 17 and it affected everyboby in the whole house, day in and day out. She was one of those people that thinks that the rules of life dont pertain to her. 17 must the age when thier brain turns to ****.

Your situition is only going to get worse if you and your wife dont make some firm ground rules and STICK to them, no matter how bad it hurts. Explain to him that you love him and you would die for him, but this is not the way our lives are going to be. One person does not have the right to ruin a whole family. He KNOWS that you and your wife give him everything that he needs to survive and much more. Start taking some of those things away. Friends first, thats your house not his! When he "bucks" up on you then call the police and tell them that your son is in DANGER!

Let me explain that. My daugther climbed out on the porch roof and said she was going to jump. I called the police and they came and said that she had the right to climb out on the roof because she lived there. I said WTF!
I told the officer that if that s the way things are going to be then I will have to take matters into my own hands. She may not safe here. The next thing I know two more cars pull up in the drivway and they put her into protective custodity. Long story short she spent 3 weeks in a halfway house without all those little luxuries that she had at home. We could not see her or have any contact with her. It hurt like hell but you will survive! She came home with different outlook on home life. I think it showed her that that thier is other places for her to live and maybe home is not such a bad place after all.

Your rules are his rules and thats the way its gonna be or you can............?

I wish you the best of luck!

PS Parenthood is way over rated

 

I feel for you, Rebel. I have been through that situation with my brother. I have watched my dad literally cry over the decisions he's had to make and it pisses me off. My dad ended up kicking my 18 year old brother out of the house 2 months ago. Now, my brother lives with druggie "friends" and I have no clue what else he does now.

My advice to you is to law down the damn law in your house. Tell him when he starts waking up in the morning, busting his *** to make a living, and paying the bills, then he can do what he wants. Do what others are saying and take away even the lightbulb that lights his room. Relationships are everything to a teenager. They are life and death. Tell his friends and him that you were their age once, you know what they're up to and that you aren't having that **** anymore. Let them know that you will call the cops if you even see those pieces of **** in your yard or house.

Do a routine search of his room. Look in places you wouldn't normally think to look. Keep everything you find and when he comes home, let him know you found it and for everything you find, issue some sort of punishment. Like take his phone away for a week or two or something. Hell, I don't know. I'm just offering ideas. Ground his *** to hell and back. Offer him incentives for doing good... like making good grades. Tell him that if he makes A's and B's (or even if you're happy with C's), that he will get something for every good grade he makes. Make it worth his while to do good, and punish the hell out of his *** when he does bad.

You know I don't have kids, so I'm just giving you advice from what I've seen and been through. Don't be a wuss like my dad was with my brother. My dad gave my brother too much lenience. He allowed him to get away with too much. Didn't enforce what he threatened my brother with. Make your rules and enforce them. Don't back down.

 

get your son off of it asap!!! my friend got in to it and it was hard for me and his other friend his family, he didn't even know who his real friends were till after he got off the stuff.

his dad took every thing from him, no friends, no TV or xbox and no going out after school. and it really help turn his life around.

good luck man, this is going to be tuff.

 

Thanks again everyone. I know i gotta get tough. He's our only child and I was kinda like him at that age, but that was in the 70's and times are way different. Anyway about the meds I thought he took, I think I was mistaken about it. My memory is shot and I think I took my last pills a few months ago, I usually only need 1 when I feel the infamous twinge that gout gives me before it gets set in.. And I will take one at that very moment without a second thought.. But his smoking pot and ( I hope that's it) in my house will stop. He's a good kid basically and his friends are very respectful of my wife and I, but I think thats just a fake smile on the Mona Lisa,

And his grades for a junior aren't all that alarming, I'll play it day by day.

My working 2nd shift, I can't always get to talk to him everyday during the week, on weekends he's being a teen with his buddies, and stopping by for food and drink.

But I have decided to lock up all my meds, instead of with the usual medicine cabinet stuff..

 

Whoa. I don't understand you at all. I'm 18 years old and I know right from wrong and that my actions have consequences. So, why would I go smoke pot, or do drugs, or even drink alcohol? Giving in to peer pressure [him & his "friends"] and making up excuses for your son ("my wife and I did it...i think its O.K. if he does, too."), is for the weak.
I was raised by a single mother with two kids and two jobs, and all she did when either my sister or I messed up, was give us a good spanking and a talking to. That's all there is to it, really.
I've never drank or done drugs and don't plan to either...why would I? I'd rather spend money on other things than throw it away on something that's just going to come back and haunt me. My mom never had to talk to us about drugs. They teach us enough at school and everywhere, really, to help us realize that no good comes from it. Even if what they told us at school wasn't true, I've seen far too cases where people have screwed up their whole lives because of drugs.
If you love your son, like you say you do, do him a favor and discipline him. I work at a hospital as well, and just like mustangrn said, "too many parents end up grieving needlessly". Simply because they wouldn't (or couldn't) lay down the law. Trust me when I tell you that I thank my mom for the discipline she raised me with.
Oh, and another thing, grades are important. Maybe its the environment i was raised in, but never have i heard a parent say his kids grades weren't important or even alarming when low. My mom was never hard about school but I wish she would've been. I'm in my freshman year in college and though i feel a little more prepared than those in some of my classes, i know i could've been better off. Unless you want your kid working two jobs making 30k a year, i'd make grades a priority.

 

Bud, I'm 22 years old and I probably have no place giving any kind of parenting advice, but being my age I still remember being 16/17, peer pressure etc..

My advice, keep him off of drugs (of any kind) no matter what. I don't care what anyone says, pot makes you ******* stupid. If he's starting to go down the road of abusing prescription drugs you need to nip that quick or you'll never stop it.

I've seen so many friends go from all around decent people to no good, lazy ******* druggies or even worse.. One of my best friends OD'ed on Ex, she was partying with "friends" and hadn't hydrated enough throughout the day (this was in the middle of a very hot TN summer). That night they were drinking pretty heavily and nearly everyone there was completely trashed, she collapsed and they all freaked out. Her "friends" were too scared of getting busted so they drug her up-stairs (from the basement) and tried to wake her up, by this time her heart was already giving out, about 5-10 minutes later someone finally decided to call the hospital, but the 10 minutes that they wasted trying not to get caught cost her life. She was very young, and did not deserve to go like that.

Get him off of this road NOW. Don't wait, don't play Mr. Nice guy, none of that. I'm not telling you to be an *** about it, but you need to lay down the law and explain to him the reasons why he needs to stay away from this life.

 

Yea i gotta agree with all the above advice..i know i have no room to talk but drugs DO make you stupider, id know from experience. When i was 15 i was a lil dumbass and did drugs mostly from peer pressure, and my grades dropped. I failed spanish 1 and now i gotta retake it, really wish i hadnt fucked up. Id say set his *** down and set serious rules and dont bend them at ALL

 

You guys act like it's every teenagers goal to smoke weed and dranky drank in highschool.

I'm 19 and have never smoked or gotten drunk, not because of religious bullshit, law, or worried about parents, I just choose not to.

Am I the only person like this? Haha

 

no, im pretty much the same. i never drank or smoked or done any drugs.

 

I go to the number one party school in America, and I just think that all that stuff can wait till after college and I can drink legally and have the money to do so. Alcohol isn't cheap, especially for a college student

 

pot is not a big deal if its done in moderation and done as safely as possible (no public places)

and Evan, pot doesnt make people stupid...they were already stupid to begin with...the pot just brought that out of them through the laziness it can cause.

I smoke (again...quit for a while) but not one single person that knows me thinks I am dumb in any way. I graduated with a 3.6 average from one of the top rated high schools in the country, and I went through 2.5 years of college and did well...I left because I didnt want a career in anything college can offer.

potheads are stupid, but not everyone who smokes pot is a pothead.

alchohol is far more dangerous and life ruining that pot will ever be.

things that are illegal have stigmas attached to them that dont belong sometimes.

 

Just so you know I am only 23 with no kids but .....

I might be wrong, but I get the feeling that him smoking that weed is bugging you a little more then you might think? If you did just forgot about how many you had, then the reason you suspected him in the first place (before remembering) was because of the pot usage. Him smoking gave you reason to doubt him and not trust him.

I think you might want to have that talk with him.

Also I do not think that pot is a better/worse drug then alcohol. Its about the same. A lot of people are of weak mind and get addicted to something easily. So I dont think the issue is with really the pot itself, but wether or not your son is addicted to it. If he has an addictive personality then you might want to get him off the stuff. It will usually only lead to worse substances.

I also want to say to those who work in the ER and say that drugs are the worst thing ever (usually right, but playing devils advocate) dont really have a non-biased view. You see all the BAD things about drugs on a daily bases from all sorts of different people and walks of life. Usually these people are the ones that are of weak mind and are addicted to a certain substance. You are not seeing the people who have it under control because they keep it in control. This also applies to alcohol too.

Anyway im bored as hell and wanted to type a wall of text. I also just wanted to say that I do not use, nor condone use of illegal substances. That one person had it right, its usually a waste of $. I get my high of my mustang lol.

 

read all these posts and their is some good advice. you need to make some rules, talk to him, and make him realize that if he keeps this up you are not going to be making pancakes for him when he is 30 and still living at home. he has a year to get his *** in gear and either go to college or get a full time job after high school.

their is one problem though. this has been going on for a while, and at this point you can say anything, and it won't phase him. actions speak louder then words. you may have to embarass him infront of his friends and go psycho on him (or as you put it "go sarge") and get a little physical. grab him by the back of the neck and push him around. trust me, you are his father, you have old man strength, ur son will be no match for you.

i drank in high school and had my own issues with disrespecting my folks and the house i lived in. it wasn't always because i wanted to, but because i wanted to see what i could get away with. you might have to look a little inward, and find out what you did to invite some of this behavior and your son's ability to push the limits.

 

Thanks again everyone, for the advice and personal stories. I'm thinking he did not take my meds, I took them and just didn't pay attention to it. I'm just assuming he did, because of what I've found in his room. My wife and I are working on a plan to curb this behavior before it get's even more out of hand.. We do have options, and we will use them.. Parental rights may not be like they were 20 years ago, but we can force him to comply without anyone getting hurt or put in jail for me laying the smackdown on him..

 

GOOD LUCK Rebel, I hope everything works out for all of you.

 

No, you're not the only one. I've never tried smoking anything. I don't drink at all. I was raised in a completely non-religious household. My parents smoked weed and drank and they didn't care if I did, too. I've just never had the urge to try or even cared about doing those things. Never appealed to me and I never saw the purpose in it.

 

I will make this my last post on this thread, If indeed my son is going down the wrong road I'll start a new discussion. Anyway, what I think caught us of guard, ( us being my wife and, We try to be a team of 2 with everything we do), was my sons attitude towards drugs in general. He was a product of the mid to late 90's " just say no" days of drug use. You know they really pushed that in Elementary school and middle school too.

Once, when my son broke his arm(compound fracture to both forearm bones) when he was only 8 or 9 yrs old, they gave him a mild anesthesia, probably phenabarbitol, so the could set his arm back in place. Doc said it was real close to surgery to fix that arm. He showed me the x-rays and the bones were severed by an inch at least. Doc successfully set the arm bones back. My son woke up not feeling to good from the drugs, and eventually asked " What did they do to me"? We told him they gave you some drugs so they could ste the bones.. He cried not because of the pain but because they gave him drugs to fix it.. I'll never forget that poor childs face when he found out they gave him drugs.

We assured him that there are good drugs and bad drugs. He understood, but He never wanted any painkillers or even tylenol to ease the pain..

I talked to him today, and he assures me he is not using. And 2 of his friends who I suspect smoke pot aren't hanging around lately.. Hopefully he got his fill of that stuff. Thanks again everyone for your support and advice. I take heed on every post in this thread, and it is sincerely appreciated.. I can feel the love...

 

honestly, its better he does it now so that hes stops doing it by the time hes 20+.

Eventually he was going to experiment with it.