How to deal with a traffic cop
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08-16-2009 | 01:34 PM
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Joined: Jul 2009
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From: Linn County, OR
How to deal with a traffic cop
Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side when he sees the big red light behind him.... and then will start apologizing, begging for mercy.
This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cops heart. The thing to do - when you're running along about a hundred or so and you suddenly find a red flashing CHP - tracker on your trail - what you want to do is accelerate. Never pull over with the first siren howl. Mash it down and make the bastard chase you at speeds up to 120 all the way to the next exit. He will follow. But he won't know what to make of your blinker-signal that says you're about to turn right.
This is to let him know you're looking for a proper place to pull off and talk.... to keep signaling and hope for an off-ramp, one of those uphill side-loops with the sign saying "Max Speed 25".. and the trick, at this point, is to suddenly leave the freeway and take him into the chute at no less than a hundred miles an hour.
He will lock his brakes about the same time you lock yours, but it will take him a moment to realize that he's about to make a 180 degree turn at this speed... but you will be ready for it, braced for the G's and the fast heel-toe work, and with any luck at all you will have come to a complete stop off the road at the top of the turn and be standing beside your automobile by the time he catches up.
He will not be reasonable at first.. but no matter. Let him calm down. He will want the first word. Let him have it. His brain will be in turmoil: he may begin jabbering, or even pull his gun. Let him unwind; keep smiling. The idea is to show him that you were always in total control of yourself and your vehicle - while he lost control of everything.
It also helps to have your police/press badge in your wallet when he calms down enough to ask for your license. I had of these - but I also had a can of Budweiser in my hand. Until that moment, I was unaware that I was holding it. I had felt totally on top of the situation...but when I looked down and saw that little red/silver evidence-bomb in my hand I knew I was facked..... - Hunter S. Thompson - Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cops heart. The thing to do - when you're running along about a hundred or so and you suddenly find a red flashing CHP - tracker on your trail - what you want to do is accelerate. Never pull over with the first siren howl. Mash it down and make the bastard chase you at speeds up to 120 all the way to the next exit. He will follow. But he won't know what to make of your blinker-signal that says you're about to turn right.
This is to let him know you're looking for a proper place to pull off and talk.... to keep signaling and hope for an off-ramp, one of those uphill side-loops with the sign saying "Max Speed 25".. and the trick, at this point, is to suddenly leave the freeway and take him into the chute at no less than a hundred miles an hour.
He will lock his brakes about the same time you lock yours, but it will take him a moment to realize that he's about to make a 180 degree turn at this speed... but you will be ready for it, braced for the G's and the fast heel-toe work, and with any luck at all you will have come to a complete stop off the road at the top of the turn and be standing beside your automobile by the time he catches up.
He will not be reasonable at first.. but no matter. Let him calm down. He will want the first word. Let him have it. His brain will be in turmoil: he may begin jabbering, or even pull his gun. Let him unwind; keep smiling. The idea is to show him that you were always in total control of yourself and your vehicle - while he lost control of everything.
It also helps to have your police/press badge in your wallet when he calms down enough to ask for your license. I had of these - but I also had a can of Budweiser in my hand. Until that moment, I was unaware that I was holding it. I had felt totally on top of the situation...but when I looked down and saw that little red/silver evidence-bomb in my hand I knew I was facked..... - Hunter S. Thompson - Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
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