some advice please
#1
some advice please
this is a personal question.
Within the group of people that i hang around i have been the nice guy that has made people laugh. I have been noticing that those people are turning the tables on me. Now i am like the one people laugh AT not WITH. Almost feels like they are trying to take advantage of my nice guy nature and humor to make me look like an idiot which is starting to be very frustrating.
I know it really does not have a huge affect on the situation but i have stopped drinking with my friends because they have never treated me well. And i have been limited my time spent with them except for my best friend that i have known my entire life who doesn't follow in the foot steps of the others. I have started limiting my openness and have been keeping comments to my self and etc.
I highly doubt that since i don't socialize with them as much that they will stop. Any advice? I know if they keep on acting the same way i am going to have to stop hanging with them or confront them on my feeling towards their actions.
Do we have a Dr. Mustang Phil in the House? lol
Within the group of people that i hang around i have been the nice guy that has made people laugh. I have been noticing that those people are turning the tables on me. Now i am like the one people laugh AT not WITH. Almost feels like they are trying to take advantage of my nice guy nature and humor to make me look like an idiot which is starting to be very frustrating.
I know it really does not have a huge affect on the situation but i have stopped drinking with my friends because they have never treated me well. And i have been limited my time spent with them except for my best friend that i have known my entire life who doesn't follow in the foot steps of the others. I have started limiting my openness and have been keeping comments to my self and etc.
I highly doubt that since i don't socialize with them as much that they will stop. Any advice? I know if they keep on acting the same way i am going to have to stop hanging with them or confront them on my feeling towards their actions.
Do we have a Dr. Mustang Phil in the House? lol
#2
It all depends on you. and actually at your age it probably depends on your stature. Are you a big funny guy or a little funny guy, Are you too timid when you're around your so called friends? A lot of times a group of people will pick on the small guy even if they like you or not. If that's the case find new friends. And sometimes a group of people will pick on the big guy if he's too timid and doesn't get angry about it. If that's the case they will back down quicker if show your not intimidated by it. Could work for the small guy too, but you risk a confrontation if you try to stand up to them.. If there is noone in your group who will take up for you no matter what your size, demeanor, or overall appearance, then you need new friends.. Sometimes being happy and funny all the time makes you appear vulnerable. Get mean sometimes and threaten to slap someone...
#4
world is too big to apologize to anybody for anything...especially being yourself....your friends are a pain to you...screw em...get new ones....every once in awhile i pick a south american country and go there when i wanna get away from the grind...guy i work with has an entirely seperate family down there...gorgeous wife and kids that he sends money to even though he has a wife and kids here....point is...this world is too complex to be unhappy for a second in any relationship...even friend ones
#6
I would personally isolate myself from that gathering of people all together and not associate with any of them if you can, it will be hard for sure. But you know if they don't respect you as a person they really don't deserve being called friends. And I would manage to slip away from there surroundings, because you will start to treat others in the same manner eventually if you let yourself.
just my thoughts...
just my thoughts...
#8
i appreciate all your advice and i have a good feeling that i just need to man up and bust out a can of whoop ***. Im already bigger then all of them so i just need to show them i aint gonna take anymore **** from them. Thats plan A. Plan B will be new friends.
#10
+1 your going to be making new friends all the time and loosing contact with others at the same time so don't get hooked up on a certain group of people that clearly don't even care about your friendship
#11
I'm with streetracer 100%.
Just start looking for new friends. There are too many awesome people out to have friendships with than to waste time with those who dont understand how to be somebodys friend.
The way i see it, you have several friends that are making you the butt of thier jokes, they are turning you into the bitch of the group.
Normally, the easiest explanation is the correct one, so here are a few real easy explanations. I dont want you to be offended by any of these, i dont mean any of them offencive
1) They are tired of you getting all the women, Yer better looking, tall, and the girls get all dough eyed when they see you so they want to knock you down a few notches in front of the girls so the chickies stop paying attention to you, no woman wants to be with the bitch of the group.
2) You tend to display a lot of arrogance around them, they are sick of you thinking you are better than them, and they want you to know they dont think yer the coolest **** since sliced bread.
3) Yer a social retard, you have the best intentions but once you start talking you shut off your ability to empathize and cannot tell that yer boring them to tears or yer constantly saying dumb ****.
4) you have very competitive friends that have a somewhat hostile nature. You are bigger than them, they ALL want to be the alpha, so they try to prove themselves by attacking you since you are bigger.
5) you talk too much, you cut them off, you wrangle conversations and basically look annoyed anytime somebody else trys to talk. If this is the case, stop it, it is annoying as ****.
Us men really are like dogs in many ways, one of those comparisons is that socially we all want to be on the winning team and are more likely to team up on what looks to be the winning side. Dont take what i say here to an extreme. But as long as they all kep the focus on making YOU the butt of thier jokes, each one of them is safe.
You might be able to physically and systematically beat the bejesus out of each and everyone of them, but dominace really has more to do with attitude and actions than size and capability.
The biggest people are not usually the dominant ones.
Whatever the case, if i were you i would just let things drift apart. you may be able to assert your dominance and show them all who is boss, but that is only if they accept that dominance and it aint likely.
move on, find better friends.
Just start looking for new friends. There are too many awesome people out to have friendships with than to waste time with those who dont understand how to be somebodys friend.
The way i see it, you have several friends that are making you the butt of thier jokes, they are turning you into the bitch of the group.
Normally, the easiest explanation is the correct one, so here are a few real easy explanations. I dont want you to be offended by any of these, i dont mean any of them offencive
1) They are tired of you getting all the women, Yer better looking, tall, and the girls get all dough eyed when they see you so they want to knock you down a few notches in front of the girls so the chickies stop paying attention to you, no woman wants to be with the bitch of the group.
2) You tend to display a lot of arrogance around them, they are sick of you thinking you are better than them, and they want you to know they dont think yer the coolest **** since sliced bread.
3) Yer a social retard, you have the best intentions but once you start talking you shut off your ability to empathize and cannot tell that yer boring them to tears or yer constantly saying dumb ****.
4) you have very competitive friends that have a somewhat hostile nature. You are bigger than them, they ALL want to be the alpha, so they try to prove themselves by attacking you since you are bigger.
5) you talk too much, you cut them off, you wrangle conversations and basically look annoyed anytime somebody else trys to talk. If this is the case, stop it, it is annoying as ****.
Us men really are like dogs in many ways, one of those comparisons is that socially we all want to be on the winning team and are more likely to team up on what looks to be the winning side. Dont take what i say here to an extreme. But as long as they all kep the focus on making YOU the butt of thier jokes, each one of them is safe.
You might be able to physically and systematically beat the bejesus out of each and everyone of them, but dominace really has more to do with attitude and actions than size and capability.
The biggest people are not usually the dominant ones.
Whatever the case, if i were you i would just let things drift apart. you may be able to assert your dominance and show them all who is boss, but that is only if they accept that dominance and it aint likely.
move on, find better friends.
#12
yes im in college and i talked to my friend that i have known like my entire life and bitched him out for starting the whole thing and hopefully he got it through his head but i am gonna start moving away from my original group just because i know that they probably won't change jsut because i think they are being douchebags. And i don't want to bring out my bad temper from hibernation because it never helped me just got me into trouble but that is beside the point. I agree with you jack and most of you guys and i am going to start kickin it with new people.
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