Got myself in a situation...
#1
06-24-2007, 03:30 AM
Got myself in a situation...
Okay, so I need some advice on what to do. I don't need judgements about where my moral compass lies, just some help in sorting out my thoughts.
Let me start by introducing the main characters of my story.
Amanda, My best friend (female one).. she has dated my other best friend (Mark) 3 times but they broke up again and she said no way would she get back with him.
Mark, Amanda's Ex boyfriend, and my best friend. I've had many crushes on this boy over the years.
James, Mark's younger brother. A close friend, I guess you could call him. I thought I liked this boy, but i think that may have been my lonliness kicking in.
Adam- Mark and James' stupid cousin
Stace- Adam's girlfriend.
Brett- Adams' brother, James n Marks other cousin.
Okay, so here's my story.
James and Amanda were going to date eachother about 4 years ago, and at the same time I met Mark and became very good friends with him. Things didnt work out, and James stood Amanda up. A few months later, Amanda starts dating Mark. (and they have only ever lasted a whole straight stint of 3 months together).
I've on and off liked Mark over the years, we're just WAYYY close, and we pretty much always have been (minus a few occasions). I've had two boyfriends. The first, felt me up. And the second, raped me.
Okay, so now my drama is this. A few weeks ago, amanda and mark broke up for the final time, and about 2/3 months ago, I broke up with my boyfriend. So, Stace tried to get me and Brett together, but it wasnt happening.. He was trying too hard and I liked James at the time. Then after a while, she gets bored of that drama, and tells Mark that James and I are dating to get back at him. Me and Mark have a huge fight, and a week later we sort it out. Then when she hears we're doing fine, and hes newly single (he was at my house till 1am one night), and that we went out (as friends) she starts trying to get us together. She puts words in his mouth, and words in mine.. then i realise I really do like him.
Now to complicate things more, Brett liked/s me. I'm not interested. James says he likes me, but i am doubtful since hes cancelled plans to go out TWICE. I refuse to chase a boy. I think they are both over it.
So, all this I could handle fine, but then.. Last night i went to a party with Mark, Adam, Stace and Brett. Met a few hot guys, yadda yadda yadda. It went off, there was a drunken fight, a few drink spikings and a stripper.. LMAO. Good fun though. But I worked all day saturday (10-6), and didnt eat anything. I get to the party, and Mark Stace and Brett are already drunk. I have a beer on the way back to the party, which i didnt enjoy much. Then i got there, and there are no girl drinks left (you know.. like Vodka Cruisers). So I'm stuck drinking either the hard spirits or beer. I stuck with beer, probably had about.. 3.. and I was fine.
Then.. I got stupid. I let this guy pour a drink. He thought it was for Adam (a regular drinker, also 20 and not a tiny girl like myself). So he mixed it REALLY strong.. it was going to be straight vodka, but then he added like a part of coke. So after getting the boys their beer, and Adam's drink.. he refused. sia dit was too strong for him. I didnt particularly care, and drank it anyway. Then.. I was GONE.. completely drunk. One thing lead to another, and i end up sitting on Mark's lap.. and he starts kissing me. (this was about 2 hours into the party). By 11pm we were sober, but he wasnt stopping. we got home about 3am this morning, and.. i made the smart decision not to sleep with him (sexually), but we shared a bed.
So thing is, after this really long story..
Mark and I did some stuff we probably shouldnt have. Amanda doesnt know. and Mark and I dont regret what happened. we jsut dont know how to tell her. any advice?
Let me start by introducing the main characters of my story.
Amanda, My best friend (female one).. she has dated my other best friend (Mark) 3 times but they broke up again and she said no way would she get back with him.
Mark, Amanda's Ex boyfriend, and my best friend. I've had many crushes on this boy over the years.
James, Mark's younger brother. A close friend, I guess you could call him. I thought I liked this boy, but i think that may have been my lonliness kicking in.
Adam- Mark and James' stupid cousin
Stace- Adam's girlfriend.
Brett- Adams' brother, James n Marks other cousin.
Okay, so here's my story.
James and Amanda were going to date eachother about 4 years ago, and at the same time I met Mark and became very good friends with him. Things didnt work out, and James stood Amanda up. A few months later, Amanda starts dating Mark. (and they have only ever lasted a whole straight stint of 3 months together).
I've on and off liked Mark over the years, we're just WAYYY close, and we pretty much always have been (minus a few occasions). I've had two boyfriends. The first, felt me up. And the second, raped me.
Okay, so now my drama is this. A few weeks ago, amanda and mark broke up for the final time, and about 2/3 months ago, I broke up with my boyfriend. So, Stace tried to get me and Brett together, but it wasnt happening.. He was trying too hard and I liked James at the time. Then after a while, she gets bored of that drama, and tells Mark that James and I are dating to get back at him. Me and Mark have a huge fight, and a week later we sort it out. Then when she hears we're doing fine, and hes newly single (he was at my house till 1am one night), and that we went out (as friends) she starts trying to get us together. She puts words in his mouth, and words in mine.. then i realise I really do like him.
Now to complicate things more, Brett liked/s me. I'm not interested. James says he likes me, but i am doubtful since hes cancelled plans to go out TWICE. I refuse to chase a boy. I think they are both over it.
So, all this I could handle fine, but then.. Last night i went to a party with Mark, Adam, Stace and Brett. Met a few hot guys, yadda yadda yadda. It went off, there was a drunken fight, a few drink spikings and a stripper.. LMAO. Good fun though. But I worked all day saturday (10-6), and didnt eat anything. I get to the party, and Mark Stace and Brett are already drunk. I have a beer on the way back to the party, which i didnt enjoy much. Then i got there, and there are no girl drinks left (you know.. like Vodka Cruisers). So I'm stuck drinking either the hard spirits or beer. I stuck with beer, probably had about.. 3.. and I was fine.
Then.. I got stupid. I let this guy pour a drink. He thought it was for Adam (a regular drinker, also 20 and not a tiny girl like myself). So he mixed it REALLY strong.. it was going to be straight vodka, but then he added like a part of coke. So after getting the boys their beer, and Adam's drink.. he refused. sia dit was too strong for him. I didnt particularly care, and drank it anyway. Then.. I was GONE.. completely drunk. One thing lead to another, and i end up sitting on Mark's lap.. and he starts kissing me. (this was about 2 hours into the party). By 11pm we were sober, but he wasnt stopping. we got home about 3am this morning, and.. i made the smart decision not to sleep with him (sexually), but we shared a bed.
So thing is, after this really long story..
Mark and I did some stuff we probably shouldnt have. Amanda doesnt know. and Mark and I dont regret what happened. we jsut dont know how to tell her. any advice?
#3
06-24-2007, 07:29 AM
how can i put it simpler? theres alot of history between all of us. And mark and I got heated the other night.. at this party right? Amanda is all jealous and angry at me for "taking her place", and she doesnt even know what has really happened. Lucky i didnt tell her, I think she would not be able to handle it. What to do though? Like.. I'm soooo confused.
#4
06-24-2007, 07:54 AM
i read this whole thing and im confused. they broke up you too hook up and now you feel bad? right.
general rule is that you dont miss with your friends EX's. unless your friend moves to another country or something to that effect otherwise it just complicates things.
me for example i was seperated from my wife and i had just got back from iraq and i started talking to a girl that my best friend dated for a long time. the story fast and short. the time line... my friend left for korea and broke up with his girl. fast forward 5 months im back from my deployment on nascar weekend in dover. she was a shooter girl and sold me lots of drinks. well my friends left me behind while they hopped on the coors lite bus. so i was stuck with no ride so she said i could sleep at her place. i was thinkin
. but that didnt happen that night. a few days later i took her to a dashboard confessionals acoustic concert 
. so we did the dating for a couple weeks till i went to california for a month. while i was home i got back with the wife and blew this girl off. well i had orders to korea for may last year my best friend was there and the girl that he broke things off was there as well. then the f'd up part is that they got married and he knew all about me and his wife from a few months prior. needless to say this guy didnt talk to me at all. i didnt tell my friend that i was dating her nor did she but the air force is not as big as you think and people talk.
so bottom line find your own peice and dont mess with the EX's of your close friends. it will bite you in the azz.
general rule is that you dont miss with your friends EX's. unless your friend moves to another country or something to that effect otherwise it just complicates things.
me for example i was seperated from my wife and i had just got back from iraq and i started talking to a girl that my best friend dated for a long time. the story fast and short. the time line... my friend left for korea and broke up with his girl. fast forward 5 months im back from my deployment on nascar weekend in dover. she was a shooter girl and sold me lots of drinks. well my friends left me behind while they hopped on the coors lite bus. so i was stuck with no ride so she said i could sleep at her place. i was thinkin
. but that didnt happen that night. a few days later i took her to a dashboard confessionals acoustic concert . so we did the dating for a couple weeks till i went to california for a month. while i was home i got back with the wife and blew this girl off. well i had orders to korea for may last year my best friend was there and the girl that he broke things off was there as well. then the f'd up part is that they got married and he knew all about me and his wife from a few months prior. needless to say this guy didnt talk to me at all. i didnt tell my friend that i was dating her nor did she but the air force is not as big as you think and people talk.so bottom line find your own peice and dont mess with the EX's of your close friends. it will bite you in the azz.
#7
06-24-2007, 08:14 AM
Honestly I can't stand when girls use you for their own pleasure then drop you and hurt you in the process. How about not being a **** and being nice to your friends they are after all your friends.
Heres what you do, don't tell her at all and never touch 'mark' again. Unless you can't control yourself like 99% of girls.
If you tell her your just going to cause problems, all thought you already sorta did that when you crossed the line.
Heres what you do, don't tell her at all and never touch 'mark' again. Unless you can't control yourself like 99% of girls.
If you tell her your just going to cause problems, all thought you already sorta did that when you crossed the line.
#9
06-24-2007, 09:04 AM
Man, Im so glad Im not in high school any more. All it is is a bunch of immature kids with stupid *** drama going on. Grow up.
#10
06-24-2007, 09:16 AM
Honestly I can't stand when girls use you for their own pleasure then drop you and hurt you in the process. How about not being a **** and being nice to your friends they are after all your friends.
Heres what you do, don't tell her at all and never touch 'mark' again. Unless you can't control yourself like 99% of girls.
If you tell her your just going to cause problems, all thought you already sorta did that when you crossed the line.
Heres what you do, don't tell her at all and never touch 'mark' again. Unless you can't control yourself like 99% of girls.
If you tell her your just going to cause problems, all thought you already sorta did that when you crossed the line.
Don't you think the "C" word is a little harsh? She hasn't called anyone durogatory names, why are you?
#14
06-24-2007, 01:22 PM
Honestly I can't stand when girls use you for their own pleasure then drop you and hurt you in the process. How about not being a **** and being nice to your friends they are after all your friends.
Heres what you do, don't tell her at all and never touch 'mark' again. Unless you can't control yourself like 99% of girls.
If you tell her your just going to cause problems, all thought you already sorta did that when you crossed the line.
Heres what you do, don't tell her at all and never touch 'mark' again. Unless you can't control yourself like 99% of girls.
If you tell her your just going to cause problems, all thought you already sorta did that when you crossed the line.
As for your problem Babii, just do the right thing. If your feeling guilty over this situation with your friends ex, then maybe thats your conscience telling you its not right. You can spend all day finding justifications for your actions but the bottom line is, can you live with yourself with the guilt you may be having and the loss of a friendship.
A general rule is don't mess with good friend's ex's. Thats one of the things that separate us from monkeys.
#16
06-24-2007, 01:36 PM
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Honestly I can't stand when girls use you for their own pleasure then drop you and hurt you in the process. How about not being a **** and being nice to your friends they are after all your friends.
Heres what you do, don't tell her at all and never touch 'mark' again. Unless you can't control yourself like 99% of girls.
If you tell her your just going to cause problems, all thought you already sorta did that when you crossed the line.
Heres what you do, don't tell her at all and never touch 'mark' again. Unless you can't control yourself like 99% of girls.
If you tell her your just going to cause problems, all thought you already sorta did that when you crossed the line.
Thats way out of line and totally uncalled for. As for the drama, I've seen a few relationship "dilemma" threads started on this board from guys, so don't generalize and single out the women.
As for your problem Babii, just do the right thing. If your feeling guilty over this situation with your friends ex, then maybe thats your conscience telling you its not right. You can spend all day finding justifications for your actions but the bottom line is, can you live with yourself with the guilt you may be having and the loss of a friendship.
A general rule is don't mess with good friend's ex's. Thats one of the things that separate us from monkeys.
As for your problem Babii, just do the right thing. If your feeling guilty over this situation with your friends ex, then maybe thats your conscience telling you its not right. You can spend all day finding justifications for your actions but the bottom line is, can you live with yourself with the guilt you may be having and the loss of a friendship.
A general rule is don't mess with good friend's ex's. Thats one of the things that separate us from monkeys.
Completely agree with you man.. v8stang, you need to realize that you're speaking to a 16 year old girl here.
Babii: Personally, this is my opinion and I have learned it over the years. You're young, and judging by your 'navel' pictures you are most likely a 'hot' girl. Use these years, high-school years, as your fun time. Don't worry too much about everyone else if she's really your friend then she won't care. On top of that, they weren't together anyway so she really shouldn't care.
I want you to understand this too. By 'fun' I DO NOT mean go out and f^ck like a wild animal, you'll regret it. I've seen it happen to alot of people.
Just go out and have fun, this is one of the only times in your life where you won't have alot on your shoulders short of school, if I had it to do all over again then I would have taken alot more time to party!
#17
06-24-2007, 01:37 PM
#18
06-24-2007, 01:54 PM
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My advice, dont worry about it, dont overthink it.
yer 16 if yer profile is right, that means you have your whole life ahead of you and i know this is a big important thing to you now, but when you look back in 5-6 years at this you will realize how rediculous this all is.
Dont overthink things, and the best thing to remember is to treat other people how you would want to be treated. If you would be pissed if she got all up on yer ex boyfriend, then dont get all up on hers. Im sure the sun rises and sets with this guy Mark, but trust me there are tons more people out there, it just aint worth it.
As for v8stang22, Dude, LEAVE. Dont let the door hit your stupid *** on the way out. Way uncalled for, very immature, quite frankly i think just about everyone on this board would rather hear about highschool drama than discuss anything with an ignorant little **** like yourself.
go throw yourself off a bridge.
yer 16 if yer profile is right, that means you have your whole life ahead of you and i know this is a big important thing to you now, but when you look back in 5-6 years at this you will realize how rediculous this all is.
Dont overthink things, and the best thing to remember is to treat other people how you would want to be treated. If you would be pissed if she got all up on yer ex boyfriend, then dont get all up on hers. Im sure the sun rises and sets with this guy Mark, but trust me there are tons more people out there, it just aint worth it.
As for v8stang22, Dude, LEAVE. Dont let the door hit your stupid *** on the way out. Way uncalled for, very immature, quite frankly i think just about everyone on this board would rather hear about highschool drama than discuss anything with an ignorant little **** like yourself.
go throw yourself off a bridge.
#19
06-24-2007, 01:55 PM
im in high school and ive found out its better to leave every 1 a lone after this kind of thing and see what happen or just call dr.phill
#20
06-24-2007, 02:00 PM
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#22
06-24-2007, 02:10 PM
Well..
1. The chick..seems like a trifling biatch who gets her kicks off drama.
2. Drunk teenagers getting together..almost always means some **** like this is going to happen.
Best thing to do is more a less sit back and see what happens. I'll put money down that she finds this out somehow though.
1. The chick..seems like a trifling biatch who gets her kicks off drama.
2. Drunk teenagers getting together..almost always means some **** like this is going to happen.
Best thing to do is more a less sit back and see what happens. I'll put money down that she finds this out somehow though.
#26
06-24-2007, 06:20 PM
Honestly I can't stand when girls use you for their own pleasure then drop you and hurt you in the process. How about not being a **** and being nice to your friends they are after all your friends.
Heres what you do, don't tell her at all and never touch 'mark' again. Unless you can't control yourself like 99% of girls.
If you tell her your just going to cause problems, all thought you already sorta did that when you crossed the line.
Heres what you do, don't tell her at all and never touch 'mark' again. Unless you can't control yourself like 99% of girls.
If you tell her your just going to cause problems, all thought you already sorta did that when you crossed the line.
#28
06-24-2007, 06:41 PM
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Posts: n/a
