A doctor walks into a bank and asks the teller for a deposit slip. She hands him one and asks him if he needs a pen. "No, I've got one, thanks." as he reaches into his jacket pocket. But instead of a pen he pulls out a rectal thermometer.

He looks up at the teller, pauses for a moment, then sighs and asks, "You know what this means?" "No." replies the teller. says, "It means that some *******'s got my pen."

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A drunk, who smelled of beer and other alcohol, sat down on a subway seat next to a Priest. The man's tie was stained with various foods and other substances, his face was plastered with lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.

He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Tell me Father, what causes arthritis? The Priest replied, "My Son, it is caused by loose living, being with cheap and wicked women, drinking too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes, and a lack of personal hygiene.

The drunk, looking somewhat taken aback by the response, muttered "Well, I'll be darned.", and returned to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, put his hand gently on the man's arm and apologized. "I'm sorry. I should not have come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have arthritis Father." the drunk replied. "I was asking because it says here that that the Pope has a severe case of it."

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Now, for some pics:

 

hahahah i like the first one the best

 

lmao!

 

The first one was pretty good.

 

pretty funny