OK married/engaged guys... I'm not engaged, not dating someone, not serious with anyone. However, there is a good friend of mine whom I may become more with in the future. regardless of her. I know that within the next few years, I will likely be seriously considering marriage with her(or hopefully someone else).

Now what I'm wondering is...if I save and save and save for the next 3 years and dont spend any extranneous amount on my car or anywhere, I will likely have 15-20 grand saved.

With that in mind, woud it be wise to save it for when I get engaged for the ring, wedding, honeymoon and any other expenses? Or would it be fine for me to spend my money wherever and just worry about the money when the time arises. I'd like to mod my car, but honestly, I'd rather have an awesome honeymoon and marriage than a fast car.

So what do you think guys? Lance, foncarelli, rebelyell, and others whom i cant think of.

 

I think your thinking like a chick....lol....i've either been a best man or helped prepare getting a wedding together I'm not gonna lie it aint cheap. But to be honest depends on what you want. But to be honest I wouldnt be thinking this far ahead and you really dont "have" the girl yet. Saving is good and all but uhhh you might might wanna indulge a little before you start getting dead set that you wanna spend it on a wedding your not sure you'll have for maybe what another 3-5 years

 

Well, I know that nothin is cheap(especially that freakin ring) but I just wanna know from guys who've experienced it, would it be wise to save all my money now and, would it make things a LOT easier, or just slightly easier.

 

I agree...I would not really worry about that right now, especially since you do not even have the girl yet. I mean, it is always good to have a nest egg, so if you can be disciplined and save, you will thank yourself down the road, no matter what you spend it on. But until you are sure to be tied down, I would do what makes you happy with the money, even if that means spending it on your car. I am engaged, and have been for a while as we decided to wait until I finish with college, hopefully this December, and I did not spend a fortune on the ring. I spent what I could, but it also helped that my fiance had already looked at/shown me the ring so I knew what to get anyway. So I would not worry so much about that. If the love it truly there, the girl will love you for you, not the ring you get her (obviously a plastic quarter machine ring will not work, but you get the idea). As for the wedding/honeymoon, what I said above about the nest egg. Always a good idea, but I would say that you could splurge for yourself a little with part of the 15-20k.

 

My girlfriend and I have been saving for a while, we're getting married next May (07), but neither of us want a HUGE wedding. We'd rather have a small JP wedding, a bigger reception, and a really nice honeymoon, with some $$ left over. $$ can cause the biggest problems in a new marriage, so try not get too deep in debt (credit cards) paying for the wedding, or the honeymoon.

Engagement ring: How much should you spend? The running rule is 2 months salary(Gross Income). Make sure you are observant of what type of ring/jewlery she likes. My girl likes white metal jewlery; silver/white gold/platinum over yellow gold, be observant, it will pay off in the long run... Take notes if you need to. A little planning on your part will make the time all the more special.

The Wedding: It really depends on what she wants to do, truely the day is more about her, than you, but that is a good thing in my book.. If she's special enough to marry then she should be special enough to have the day she wants. If she wants a BIG wedding, plan to spend between $17K & $25K from the purchase of the engagement ring till you walk in the door after the honeymoon.

Hope this helps..

 

Rada thats some good advice I didnt know about the 2 months salary rule on the ring. Goodluck with your wedding .

 

I agree with these guys. I've been married for just over 4 years. Money can cause serious problems in a new marriage, hell even in a good strong established marriage money can still cause problems. It's always wise to save some money even if you don't have a specific reason to save. Weddings aren't cheap in the least. But thankfully for you, the bride's family traditionally carries most of that burden but it's not wrong or unheard of for the groom to pay for some of it too. The honeymoon, well that's all in the planning. We paid $700 for 3 days in the NC mountains. Our original plan was Disney World but that fell through. As for a diamond...your imagination is the only limit. If you have friends in the Navy I know how you can get a kickass diamond for dirt cheap.

The big thing is the chick. If you don't have her yet, then don't sweat gettin married yet. So many htings could happen between now and the time you'd actually be ready for all this. It's good that you're looking ahead though. Most people, dudes especially, don't think about stuff of this nature.

 

I know about the diamonds you can get through the military since my father is retired military. USAA has the hook ups for that stuff.

 

Well Danny I have to agree with alot that has already been said.Saving money is a good thing but spending some on your car is not a bad thing also.

You will never know what will happen in 2 or 3 years down the road.You could be in a total different financial situation by then.When I decided to get married it had'nt even crossed my mind that I would.Hell I was 28 and had only knew my wife for about 6 months.That was almost 13 years ago.She did'nt want a big wedding and we just had it at her local Church with just Family there.She love's Black Hills Gold and the ring she picked out only cost $800.

I would'nt be so concerned with getting married as much as I would be about buying a house,paying off and working on the car and enjoying life.Save some and investe some for the future.Most of the really big weddings are paid for by the girls parents anyway

Don't rush into marriage just because you think that everything will be for ever after.Almost all of my friends who married young with a big wedding have been divorced for years now.Take your time,live life to the fullist and if it happens it happens.Also once you get married you will hear this "It's a new car why do you need too change anything?" LOL

 

I was referring more to a small town in the U.A.E that you can get diamonds dirt cheap. I got an internally flawless 2/3 carat for my wife for a grand.

 

OK, this is what I think. You can't PLAN for a wedding 5 years in advance to a girl that perhpas you have not even met yet. AND, the LAST thing you want to do is think this one is IT because you will give her the wrong vibe and push her right out the door.

BUT, you can plan for your future and knowing that someday you want to be married and have children, saving money will always keep the options open for you, so I think it is a good idea.

IMO, marriage needs to be somewhat spontaneous. Zhit, I propossed to my wife on a US Navy Pier after returning from Desert Storm. We never even discussed getting marriage. I figured if she was waiting for me, I would ask her.

We bought a ring and the Exchange the next day, got married at the JP two weeks later, had a big wedding 6 months later (we did not tell anyone we were married), I moved her to PA right after that and bought our first house. I was 25 and she was 22. We have been married for 13 years now with three kids.

What is my point? Love needs to be unplanned to an extent, spontaneous, you need to take a bit of a risk, AND if you have some money in your pocket, it makes it a tad easier. Also, she had parents which minded their own business, so that helped - LOL

 

Everything has been said. But i believe you two should save together just to make sure that you both want the same thing. For instance, my wife didnt want a big wedding.... we got married in Vegas.

 

I get your jist, and the proposal and falling in love would be completely spontatneous. However, I wasn't really planning on the wedding, I was just thinkin about the possibility since there's a good chance it'll happen within the next 5 years, I was just wondering if it'd be wise, and make things easier, if I was to start saving up lotsa money instead of spending it all on my car. For example: I've spent over $3k on my car in modding...should I spend 3 more and then start saving....or just spend money til I think I'm in love...because I know once I fall in love to get married, I'm not gonna wanna wait around for a few years just to save enough for a nice honeymoon/ring/etc. If I had a nice 15 grand in my account, I figure it'd make things tons easier

 

Sure, money will make it easier, but dont cut yourself off from fun. Who knows, you may marry into a powerball family...lol. Im young too, and im trying to get to the point that I can buy a house in my Junior year...which leaves me about oh, a year and a half lol. I just want to have enough for the downpayment, and have my car paid off by then, and I think I can swing it.

 

The hardest part about buying a house when you're young is convincing the bank you can make the payments in the long haul. We had to show our lender each of our paystubs everytime we got paid or they would sit on the paperwork until we did. It really drug out the process longer than it had to be.

 

Strictly financially speaking ONLY, modding a car is about as dumb as it gets. But, we do it for the hobby and the love of it.

I am a lot older then most of you guys. My "toy" (aka Mustang) came only after graduating from college, getting married, buying a house, buying a boat, buying a second boat, and having three kids. and a bunch of other stuff. It took me 20 years to get to the point of being able to get myself a toy all to my own to do whatever I want with once all my major obligations were out of the way. I bought my first house when I was 25 and my wife was 22. Had I been dumping money into a car back then, I might still be renting today. Ultimately, you need to keep you priorities straight. In 20 years you really are not gonna give a crap that you had a 2001 Mustang back in 2006 and it had a shifter.

 

Boy do I have some advice for you..

Let's start at the beginning.

I bought my 04 in the summer of 04. My wife (was girlfriend at the time of purchase) was all for it at the dealer. Little did I know she was totally against it and it caused some serious issues in our relationship. We then combined our finances to prepare and restore my credit rating. I saw all the extra money being spent on **** that we didn't need. When I asked about getting some money to mod the car and all I got was a fight for like 3 days. I finally fell into some money but when we did our taxes last month we got enough money to let me have some to get some additional parts and got another 3 day fight. I still haven't gotten the okay to buy a couple things but we keep spending money on **** we don't need.

If I could do it all over again, I would have bought the car I really wanted and I wouldn't have had to fight about fixing up. I was looking at a silver 04 Cobra but settled for the GT, thinking I would get some love for saving anywhere from $8k-10k by buying the GT but no. I know girls and cars don't mix. My exwife made me sell my 89 GT and I got no respect for that either.

In my experience, girls and fixing up cars don't mix. They don't see the point of a supercharger or bigger brakes or body mods. Spend the money and get the car they way you want it and then get the girl and house and family.

Just my 2 cents and long life story.

 

Hate to say it sonic, but you say you guys are spending the money on stupid stuff you dont need, but what do you consider mods for the stang?

 

It's all about prioities and what you both deem important. Who you end up with also matters.

Take csledd for instance. I am sure she would be totaly cool to marry and settle-down with. Imagine the fun. You certainly would not get any grief from her spending money on the Mustang. In fact, the fights might be the other way around. But I am sure even she has her limits. If the bills were staking up and you needed to buy a house, etc.., I am sure even a chick like csledd would be liable to change her tune (and I am not talking about the one on the car).

"Crap you don't need generally equals stuff you can afford in my book."

Money can be the single-most problem area in a relationship. You may not have any idea how big of a deal money can be. I bet 90% of the fights me and the MRS. have had stem from money issues. This is why we went to separate bank accounts a few years ago and gave eachother the freedom to have some discretionary money.

If my wife wants to spend $150 on her hair, I could care less. Hell, I don't even see the bill and she does not see the one from MT, BUT you still need to fullfill your obligations.

Too many dam people are up to their eyeballs in debt and ruining their credit. This is a bad thing. If you ever find yourself trying to buy a car and the bank will not offer you the best possible interest rate, then someone is trying to tell you something.

 

So....in other words....the WISE thing to do would be to put my money away and not mod my car anymore? It won't really bother me to not mod it, I just dont wanna deprive myself of fun if it's not gonna bebfit me in the future


besides...if I'm not married in 10 years, I could always save the 30 grand I have saved on MPH and deck out my car...who knows(though I'd prefer the marriageroute)

 

Yes, the wise route is to stop dropping money into the car unless it's for maintenance and repairs. It's money you'll never see again.

 

Actually, You don't have to pay for the wedding. The brides father usually does. But buy her a nice ring . But before you do all that get your stang the way you want it. Because you need bucks for a new house. (not a doublewide or triple wide trailer). Then you need furniture every 4 or 5 years.

And have some cash on hand for the baby. Yes they do happen.

And last but not least NEVER put your prized mustang before for new wife. (doom will ensue) Good luck and remember to keep your wife happy before you even think about getting stuff for you car.. Oh yeah and now you have 2 incomes hopefully. That should help with the bills..

 

My wife and I paid for the entire wedding....I married poor. -LOL

My favorite line is when people say "we are waiting to get married until we save up enough money." That is such BS! Love knows no bounds! Fact is, you will never have enough money, so why wait. Saving for a wedding just so you can get married is rediculous, but not being able to live on your own, well, that is another story. Hopefully when a couple ties the knot, they are to the point where they can get their own place. Hell, I know the last place I wanted to live was with parents.

 

I would do a little of both..I had a really crazy situation with my getting married. I was with my g/f (now wife) for a little over a year and knew one day I would marry her. Little did I know that it would have been that soon after we started dating. She came up pregnant my freshman year in college and we both thought we were screwed. I didn't have a penny to my name (like I said I was in college with no job), but I started working and everything worked out..

Anyway, I would put some back in savings, but at the same time have some fun with your car. Just have enough to lay back with incase something comes up.

As far as the ring, don't sweat it too bad, most places finance at 0%. That's how I got my wife's ring 1.5 carat. AND, it's one of those newer styles where the engagment ring and wedding band are the same ring! (saves money on buying a second diamond!)

I would mostly save money for the house after the wedding, like most people have said the brides family usually pays most of the wedding costs, and grooms parents/or either of the couples grandparents typically give the Honeymoon trip as a wedding gift. If things don't go like this, do like I did. Me and my wife had a wedding in the mountains at a small chapel. It was great, she wore a sun dress and I wore khakis and a polo. Nice and simple the way we both wanted it, and didn't hurt that bank at all!!!

And post-marriage, buy a house DO NOT RENT AN APARTMENT!!! We rented an apartment after our marriage and were paying $950 a month. Well, 7 months into it we decided to look at houses, and bought a brand new house and were only paying $840 a month, and at the same time were paying for something to call our own!!! But, then the wifey had another baby, and we were ok.....and then she had another baby and we were out of room, and bought the house we are in now, and I will just say that I miss that old house payment, but oh well, it's all worth it!

 

Dang rabbit...if you don't mind me asking, what do you do for a living? Did you make it all the way through college with a child to take care of? I think I've pretty much decided to get LT's and gears for my car and I'll be done with it. That's somewhere in the park of 1700 w/ labor and all the rest of my money will go to savings

 

Yeah, I finished up (Network Admin degree), it was tough as hell though. When we first got married I was working 2 jobs, going to night school and taking care of a new family!

It took me 6 years to get my 4 year degree, long and hard road, but it was all worth it!

Right now I am A Facilities Supervisor (not a janitor), Basically I am building security, maintenance (99% of the time just hire outside contractors to do repairs), and assist our IT dept. Little bit of everything.

 

yeah, if the house in your sig's background is any indication, it looks like you ended up doin pretty well. 3 kids, one while during college, nice car, nice house... good thing you didn't drop out like alot of guys would do just to make enough money

 

thanks, I don't like to brag. I'd call it more of just damn proud of myself for making it through! It would have been alot easier to drop out, but then I would have still been at my old position with this company (A/V Technician) making **** pay!



This is mi casa.....(and the Danger Ranger I traded in on the 'stang!!!!)

 

Sweet digs.

 

Anybody want to buy a sonic blue 04 gt then?

There is a lot more to my story. She has 3 kids from a previous marriage and , unfortunately, can't have any more (tubes tied before we got together) and I don't have any so my GT is my baby. Its something I can call my own. Its something I can build to reflect my personality and make my own.

I never had the intension of modding it and then selling it.