December
8 - 6:00 PM

It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our ****tails and sat for hours
by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.
It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!







December 9

We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole
world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! Shovelled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplough came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!



December 12

The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment! My neighbour tells me not to
worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbour.





December 14

Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shovelling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplough came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shovelling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.





December 15

20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2
extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16

Ice storm this morning. Fell on my *** on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.





December 17

Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I
should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.


December 20

Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night. More shovelling! Took all day. The damn snowplough came by twice. Tried to find a
neighbour kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.



December 22

Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white **** fell today, and it's so cold, it
probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to ****. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plough on his truck for the rest of the winter,
but he says he's too busy. I think the ******* is lying.





December 23

Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the
house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.





December 24

6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplough, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plough, I'll drag him through the snow by his ***** and beat him to death with my broken shovel. Iknow he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shovelling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've
just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplough.





December 25

Merry f---ing Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight - Snowed in. The idea of shovelling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then the snowplough driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.





December 26

Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.





December 27

Temperature dropped to -30 and the
pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.





December 28

Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!





December 29

10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?





December 30

Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plough driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the
beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ***. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.





December 31

I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shovelling.





January 8

Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

 

I read that on the BMC forums. It's pretty damn funny. Probably would be funnier if I actually had to deal with snow.

The days of December 22, 24, 25, 28, and 30 make me laugh the most.

 

Pretty funny.... I think she's lying

 

Do you shovel out sandy vag's?

 

Zig shovels more vag's than you'll ever see in your life.

 

Burnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

 

but how does he do it? you forgot that.

 

I'm in tears from readin this.

 

hahaha krenogin just stop embarrassing yourself already.

 

I didn't forget ****. Zig is a ******* magic ninja. None of us will ever know how he shovels sand from vag's. All we can do is speculate.

 

and ill never tell... but I do it all from my keyboard...thats all im gonna say.

 

See? That's a true magic ninja. If you told us, you'd have to kill us.

 

damn skippy.

 

we got hit here in jersey again with a snowstorm, about 6 inches already and isn't stopping until friday afternoon. I shoveled and its the heaviest snow i've ever lifted in my life. my back hurts. bad.

 

I think you are lying

 

LMAO.

I love the 29th and 30th.

I pissed my pants at that moment.

 

LOL.

 

Just as long as he don't go ninjin nobody that don't need ninjin then its ok

 

My discretion is of the utmost quality attainable whist still being a deadly warrior.

nobody gets ninjin that dont not need to be havin no ninjin too.

 

I'm going to sig this.

You should put 'deadly magic ninja' for your user title, haha!

 

cool. lol... sounding xtra hillbilly but thats ok..that's just another one of my ninja disguises.

 

Funny $hit. Glad I don't in the northeast anymore