Hahahaha! Let's see... the only *** you'll get is when your finger goes through the toilet paper.

 

Is that a yes?

 

Hahaha. That means the only *** you'll get is when your finger slips through the toilet paper and goes into your *** while you're wiping it.

 

It works for girls too. You just need to mix it up a little.. "So when are you going to tap this?" It would certainly be easier for a girl to get a favorable response than a guy. I don't think there would be many guys that would say no, unless the girl looked like a troll

 

This is awesome

 

Hahaha, yeah, those were my thoughts exactly. The answers would be pretty obvious.

 

Me talking with a former employee i worked with.
Me: Hey girl when can i tap that
Steven:
Me: Stephanie when can i tap that?
Steven: Wrong Number
Me: This is Steven right?
Steven: haha... Yeah
Me: so answer my question
Steven: I got to go i am packing

HA

 

ok old man. lol.

 

I did two, its fun as hell. These are as close to word-for-word as possible without having horrible grammar since it was texts and girls abbreviate all kinds of stuff.

To my neighbor

Me: Hey I've got a question.
Her: What is it
Me: When you gonna let me tap that?
Her: What!?
Me: Yeah, a suprize huh. So, when you gona let me tap that?
Her: I'm not silly, your like my older brother.
Me: Yeah I was just kidding.

To a friend of mine

Me: Hey what's up.
Her: No a lot, HBU
Me: Nothing just at work, haven't talked to you in a while. I've got a question.
Her: Ok what's your ?.
Me: When you gona let me tap that?
Her: Your acting really weird.
Me: I'm not hearing no.
Her: Uh, is this a set-up?
Me: No I wouldn't do that, your too awesome. So what do you say?
Her: Ok, your kool, ...anytime. ( I **** you not thats what she said )
Me: Omg, I think I just fell in love with you a little.
Her: LoL.

I did explain the joke to each one afterwards.

 

you should have explained it to the second one AFTER you boned the **** out of her

 

two the girls I texted last night never responded back lol

 

Um, she didn't care. Offer still stands.

 

Note to self: NEVER EVER TRY THIS AGAIN. I know this is an "old" thread, but I had to share what just happened to me. I texted this to a girl that I work with (and someone that I goof around with all the time) yesterday. And what do I get tonight, but a ******* phone call from the cops . Seriously.. We crack jokes about **** like this all the time, and I even texted it in such a way that it should not have been taken seriously. WTF.. I will never understand people. Yet another person that I have to ******* hate.

 

lol wow dude. Thats why i picked wisely who i was going to text.

 

I DID choose wisely. We do **** like this all the time, especially at work. I literally was at a loss for words when the cops called.

 

WTF did she respond to you at all saying you were out of line or anything?

 

I'm sure you can't get in trouble for simply asking that, though. If she tells you to leave her alone you can, but not a minute before that.

 

lets take a looky through the contact list lol

oh i have some good candidates that most likely will laugh at me lolol

 

I can't think of anything that you legally did wrong. What did the cops say was the reason? You could damn near get her for harasment for calling the cops on you for something so stupid. ****ing dumb.

A few weekends back me and two buddies were sitting around and giving each other random phone numbers out of your own phone for the other person to text "Hey when you gona let me tap that." We got some good replys but I can't remember any. One girl was a complete bitch about it, so we sent her a pic of a dick to show her how we really felt. I think that is something you could call the cops on, so don't do that.

 

All she said was "I don't like being talked to that way." So I said "Well I guess you can't take a joke then," and that was the end of the conversation. The cops said something along the lines of "she said that she told you repeatedly to stop"

 

LOL!!!!!! Fr you just made me fall outa my chair! that's a seriously dick move, and hell ya you could get in a shitload of trouble for that.

Me: Hey gurl i got a question
Her:yeah because the parking lot is closer to A

Exactly.

10 minutes later:
me: I still got a question gurl
Her:what?
Me: when can I tap that
her: WHAT?!?
me: Ima busy man when can I tap that?
her: hahaha wtf??
me: That's not a good enough answer, for real
her: you're the funniest man I've ever met. How about tonight?
Me: that would be great.

SCORE.

 

Lol, awesome!

 

Yeah, but if you knew the girl you'd understand. She would never call the cops or anything. Worse case, she would tell her brother , but he's a crazy ****. She was just being a stuck up bitch, and deserved it at the time. I got no patience for people with no sense of humor.

 

my is happening right now i will post it up in a sec lol this is funny

 

saying let me tap that followed by ima busy man, i need a answer gets women very angry,lol

 

damn
me: hey i gotta question
her:yeah whats up
me:when can i tap that
her: what? tap what? alyssa?
me: oh i think your thinkin, ask her too
her: are you drunk?
me: not at all
her: that would be a no, your weird

explained it to her and she laughed

 

Thats crazy man. I would definitely watch out for **** like that especially with co-workers. My friend got fired cause some chick he thought was his friend made up some bs that he was harassing her. Apparently she said he texted her something and he had made the mistake of sending her a text that was suppose to go to is girlfriend. Girls at work can turn on you at any second.

 

Yeah.. Girls are all lying skanks (except for BlackSunshine of course .)

 

I did these awhile back

my wifes cuzin and sister...

me: yo whats up
sister in-law: in personal family development
me: So when u gonna let me tap that...
sister in-law: im tellin my sister
me: uhuh
sister in-law: **** off
me: thanx for playing the game
sister in-law: .....



me: yo what up
wifes cuzin: nuthin
me: so when ur gonna let me tap that?

.....

....

20 mins later...

me: so is that a no?

5 mins later

me: thanx for playing the game
wifes cuzin: ......

 

God, you have no idea how much the bolded part made me laugh. The rest of it sucks, though. What a stuck-up bitch! I guess because the majority of my family are men and the fact that I have always gotten along better with men, I know how to distinguish between a joke and a serious remark.

But I am right there with you. I ******* hate people, too. I seem to have another addition to my "I hate these ******* people and I hope they slip in dogshit and break their backs" list every day.

Edit:
Hahaha. That's right. I am not a lying skank. I am an ******* and proud of it.