The neighbors....
#1
03-26-2009, 03:10 PM
Policeman at a bar
The policeman had the bar under surveillance a few minutes before closing time, so he could see who comes out drunk.
The first one out the door at 2:00 o'clock weaved down the sidewalk, then fell on the curb. Sluggishly got up, then tried his keys in five cars before finding his own car.
Once inside his car, he fumbled with his keys for 2 or 3 minutes.
Meanwhile, all the club patrons had gotten into their cars and driven away, leaving this one fellow quite alone in the parking lot.
Finally, he got his car started and began to very slowly drive away.
Immediately, the police car was behind him with lights flashing.
The policeman asked the man to take a breathalyser test, to which he readily agreed.
When the reading was 0.0%, the policeman said, "How can this be?"
To which the man replied, "Because tonight, I'm the designated decoy."
The first one out the door at 2:00 o'clock weaved down the sidewalk, then fell on the curb. Sluggishly got up, then tried his keys in five cars before finding his own car.
Once inside his car, he fumbled with his keys for 2 or 3 minutes.
Meanwhile, all the club patrons had gotten into their cars and driven away, leaving this one fellow quite alone in the parking lot.
Finally, he got his car started and began to very slowly drive away.
Immediately, the police car was behind him with lights flashing.
The policeman asked the man to take a breathalyser test, to which he readily agreed.
When the reading was 0.0%, the policeman said, "How can this be?"
To which the man replied, "Because tonight, I'm the designated decoy."
Last edited by Must See; 03-26-2009 at 03:35 PM. Reason: to boring
#8
03-26-2009, 03:26 PM
that would make things more interesting but the story still lacks a real conclusion
#9
03-26-2009, 03:34 PM
Your story sucks hard ......
Let me try and redeem this thread ....
My dad used to date this one chick from michigan for a while. Well it turns out she has a son that is in jail for something, dont remember what. Well after a while of seeing this chick her son comes to visit. Seems like an ok enough of a guy. Was pretty cool to me. Well he just so happens to have some stuff he has for sale he "aquired" somehow. Well it was some pretty nice stuff.
We didnt really ask any questions because we didnt think anything of it at the time really. It was a helluva good deal on a DVD burner, latptop, and some DVDs .... and this was back in 2003-04 or so I think. So my dad buys the stuff and eventually he leaves.
About a week later there is a knock at the door ......... guess who it is? The FBI! WTF!?! Appearntly the him and another guy killed some poor bastard and robbed his house for the stuff. It sucked ...... they took all the stuff back as evidence. Unfortunately I had wiped the HD of the laptop. But im sure they recovered enough to help make a case against that bastard.
Yeah my Dad and that chick are no longer together.
Let me try and redeem this thread ....
My dad used to date this one chick from michigan for a while. Well it turns out she has a son that is in jail for something, dont remember what. Well after a while of seeing this chick her son comes to visit. Seems like an ok enough of a guy. Was pretty cool to me. Well he just so happens to have some stuff he has for sale he "aquired" somehow. Well it was some pretty nice stuff.
We didnt really ask any questions because we didnt think anything of it at the time really. It was a helluva good deal on a DVD burner, latptop, and some DVDs .... and this was back in 2003-04 or so I think. So my dad buys the stuff and eventually he leaves.
About a week later there is a knock at the door ......... guess who it is? The FBI! WTF!?! Appearntly the him and another guy killed some poor bastard and robbed his house for the stuff. It sucked ...... they took all the stuff back as evidence. Unfortunately I had wiped the HD of the laptop. But im sure they recovered enough to help make a case against that bastard.
Yeah my Dad and that chick are no longer together.
#10
03-26-2009, 03:37 PM
HEY, my girlfriends neighbors are Korean, and own an Asain buffet, what's up with that, terrorists, lol.
My Dad worked with a guy that that happened to. Apparently he had been trying to break into some government security website stuff. Helicopter, FBI (Could have been something else like ATF, local SWAT, or something though), the whole shin-dig.
My Dad worked with a guy that that happened to. Apparently he had been trying to break into some government security website stuff. Helicopter, FBI (Could have been something else like ATF, local SWAT, or something though), the whole shin-dig.
#13
03-26-2009, 03:45 PM
The policeman had the bar under surveillance a few minutes before closing time, so he could see who comes out drunk.
The first one out the door at 2:00 o'clock weaved down the sidewalk, then fell on the curb. Sluggishly got up, then tried his keys in five cars before finding his own car.
Once inside his car, he fumbled with his keys for 2 or 3 minutes.
Meanwhile, all the club patrons had gotten into their cars and driven away, leaving this one fellow quite alone in the parking lot.
Finally, he got his car started and began to very slowly drive away.
Immediately, the police car was behind him with lights flashing.
The policeman asked the man to take a breathalyser test, to which he readily agreed.
When the reading was 0.0%, the policeman said, "How can this be?"
To which the man replied, "Because tonight, I'm the designated decoy."
The first one out the door at 2:00 o'clock weaved down the sidewalk, then fell on the curb. Sluggishly got up, then tried his keys in five cars before finding his own car.
Once inside his car, he fumbled with his keys for 2 or 3 minutes.
Meanwhile, all the club patrons had gotten into their cars and driven away, leaving this one fellow quite alone in the parking lot.
Finally, he got his car started and began to very slowly drive away.
Immediately, the police car was behind him with lights flashing.
The policeman asked the man to take a breathalyser test, to which he readily agreed.
When the reading was 0.0%, the policeman said, "How can this be?"
To which the man replied, "Because tonight, I'm the designated decoy."
#15
03-27-2009, 06:14 AM
Redneck police story:
Bubba calls the sherriff's office to report that his neighbor Billy Bob is growing and selling marijuna.
The deputies surround the property and go through it with a fine toothed comb but comes up empty handed.
The sherrif goes to Bubba and confronts him about the bogus report, Bubba says "Nah, it's real, you just aint lookin' in the right place!! He's hiding it inside his firewood"
Armed with this new information the deputies return to the property and proceed to split open every log on the property to no avail no illegal drugs are found.
Discouraged and frustrated the deputies leave and vow never to return.
Bubba calls Billy Bob "Hey, did the deputies show up at your place."
"Yep, sure did"
"Did they find the wood pile?"
"Yep, sure did"
"Well...."
"I won't have to split a stick of wood all winter, thanks man!!!"
Bubba calls the sherriff's office to report that his neighbor Billy Bob is growing and selling marijuna.
The deputies surround the property and go through it with a fine toothed comb but comes up empty handed.
The sherrif goes to Bubba and confronts him about the bogus report, Bubba says "Nah, it's real, you just aint lookin' in the right place!! He's hiding it inside his firewood"
Armed with this new information the deputies return to the property and proceed to split open every log on the property to no avail no illegal drugs are found.
Discouraged and frustrated the deputies leave and vow never to return.
Bubba calls Billy Bob "Hey, did the deputies show up at your place."
"Yep, sure did"
"Did they find the wood pile?"
"Yep, sure did"
"Well...."
"I won't have to split a stick of wood all winter, thanks man!!!"
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