Just saw these, thought they were pretty good


F16 Jock vs. C130 driver


A C-130 was lumbering along at 25,000' when a cocky F-16 flashed by. The jet jockey decided to show off.

The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, "watch this!" and promptly went into
a barrel roll followed by a steep climb. He then finished with a sonic boom
as he broke the sound barrier. The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought of that?

The C-130 pilot said, "That was impressive, but watch this!"

The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes and then the C-130 pilot came back on and said "What did you think of that?"

Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, "What the did you do?"

The C-130 pilot chuckled. "I stood up, stretched my legs, walked to the
back into the cargo bay, went to the bathroom, then got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon bun."

When you are young and foolish - speed and flash may be a good thing.

When you get older and smarter - comfort and dull is not such a bad thing!

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Talking US Marine Dog!



A guy was driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he saw a sign in front of a broken down mobile home sitting on cinder blocks: "Talking Dog for Sale". He knocked on the door and the owner appeared and said the dog was in the backyard.


The guy went into the back yard and saw a nice looking Beagle sitting there.? "You talk?" he asks.


"Yep," the Beagle replied.


After the guy recovered from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he said "So, what's your story?"


The Beagle looked up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA and they had me sworn into the toughest branch of the armed services... the United States Marine Corps. You know one of their nicknames is "The Devil Dogs."


In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running, but the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger, so I decided to settle down.


I retired from the Corps (8 dog years = 56 human years) and signed up for a job at the airport to do some counter-terrorism security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."


The curious buyer was amazed? He went back into the house and asked the owner what price he was asking for the dog.


"Ten dollars," was the answer.


"Ten dollars??? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's such a bull-sh*tter... He never did any of that stuff. He was in the Coast Guard!"





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A fighter is asked to hold short of the active runway as they have a B-52 on an emergency approach.
The fighter asks " What's the emergency?"
"They have an engine out"
"Oh, dear! The dreaded 7-engine landing!"