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Old 10-08-2005, 01:14 PM   #1 (permalink)
4.6 Love
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Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for
good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have
nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called
to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my
hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new
negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to
sleep after watching the game.

You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or
anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore,
whatever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't.
Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Your " EX " Wife
Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true
that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good
woman is a far cry from what you've been.

I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging.
Too bad that doesn't work.

I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the
first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother
raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice.

When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me
confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because
the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that
my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your
negligee was $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work
it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million
dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But
when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the
filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you
wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was
born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

Signed Rich As Hell and Free!


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Old 10-08-2005, 01:18 PM   #2 (permalink)
Lances03SVT
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Damn thats the best one yet
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Old 10-08-2005, 02:05 PM   #3 (permalink)
FritoBandito
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sweet.....
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Old 10-08-2005, 02:19 PM   #4 (permalink)
foncarelli
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One of my favorite ones. Especially when the guy gets the last laugh.
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Old 10-08-2005, 03:23 PM   #5 (permalink)
95STANG
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Funny s**t
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