Little Johnny

*madmatt* · 05-12-2006, 08:51 AM

LITTLE JOHNNY ON PHILOSOPHY:

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gun shot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that¹s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is Œthe one with the wedding ring on,¹ but I like your thinking."
LITTLE JOHNNY ON MATH:

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an "F" in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father.

"The teacher asked me, 'How much is 2x3?'" "I said, Œ6¹," replies Johnny. "But that¹s right," said the father.

Johnny continued, "Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'" "What's the ****ing difference?" asks the father. "That¹s what I said!" exclaimed Johnny.

LITTLE JOHNNY ON ENGLISH:

Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, Class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"

Little Johnny says, "Mas-tur-bate."

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Johnny, that¹s a mouthful."

Little Johnny says, "No, Miss Rogers, you¹re thinking of a blowjob."

Zaff03GT · 05-12-2006, 09:25 AM

haha thats good:clap:

FritoBandito · 05-12-2006, 10:03 AM

nice +1 post:shifty:

theponyfactor · 05-12-2006, 10:06 AM

LOL! I like the last one the best.

*4.6 Love* · 05-12-2006, 11:37 AM

Not bad...

foncarelli · 05-12-2006, 01:16 PM

Thats my boy.

05-12-2006, 02:28 PM

lol thats funny

Mossberg · 05-12-2006, 02:47 PM

I was Little Johnny when I was little.

mustangvsix · 05-12-2006, 02:54 PM

that is funny:banana:

RedFirevert04GT · 05-12-2006, 06:39 PM

That's freakin awesome. I love the way johnny thinks.

carguy1985 · 05-12-2006, 06:42 PM

johnny kicks ass lol =)

05-12-2006, 06:47 PM

wow... whats up with all those crazy symbols?

05-12-2006, 08:51 AM	#1 (permalink)
madmatt Traitor...lol Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Lexington, SC Posts: 7,929	Little Johnny LITTLE JOHNNY ON PHILOSOPHY: A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gun shot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking." Then little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that¹s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is Œthe one with the wedding ring on,¹ but I like your thinking." LITTLE JOHNNY ON MATH: Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an "F" in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father. "The teacher asked me, 'How much is 2x3?'" "I said, Œ6¹," replies Johnny. "But that¹s right," said the father. Johnny continued, "Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'" "What's the ****ing difference?" asks the father. "That¹s what I said!" exclaimed Johnny. LITTLE JOHNNY ON ENGLISH: Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, Class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Little Johnny says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Johnny, that¹s a mouthful." Little Johnny says, "No, Miss Rogers, you¹re thinking of a blowjob." __________________ RPMPlanets

05-12-2006, 09:25 AM	#2 (permalink)
Zaff03GT Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Rochester NY Posts: 537	haha thats good:clap: __________________ 2003 GT 5 spd Eibach pro kit, SLP LT headers and X Pipe, Magnaflow Magnapack Exhaust, Pro 5.0 Short Throw Shifter, BBK Cold Air, AccufabTB/Plenum, Comp Cams, Typhoon Intake, Steeda UD Pulleys, FRPP 4.10 gears, Predator Tune, Grill Delete, Chin Spoiler, Autometer Lunar Gauges, Chrome 03 Cobra Wheels, BF Goodrich G-Force TAKD, 275 Front 315 Rear http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFhwmKyxU7k http://www.cardomain.com/ride/2266305

05-12-2006, 10:03 AM	#3 (permalink)
FritoBandito Married. Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: OK Posts: 1,234	nice +1 post:shifty: __________________ 2004 OXFORD GT Parts that matter:K&N,O/R-H,Flow 40's,Xcal2,FRPP 4.10s, Bullitt Susp. kit

05-12-2006, 10:06 AM	#4 (permalink)
theponyfactor Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 739	LOL! I like the last one the best. __________________ 1995 3.8L Ford Mustang Chrome 17" fr500s//Mac Y-Pipe Exhaust//SS Bumper Inserts//H&R Sport Springs//Mach 1 Takeoff Shocks & Struts//MM C/C Plates//Very Slow

05-12-2006, 11:37 AM	#5 (permalink)
4.6 Love Super Moderator Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Mexico Posts: 6,153	Not bad... __________________ Go Cowboys! X pipe and flows

05-12-2006, 01:16 PM	#6 (permalink)
foncarelli Everyday Im Hustlin Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Ecorse, Michigan Posts: 3,654	Thats my boy. __________________

05-12-2006, 02:28 PM	#7 (permalink)
SpinMedia Posts: n/a	lol thats funny

05-12-2006, 02:47 PM	#8 (permalink)
Mossberg Insert Creative CT here Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Lawrenceville, GA Posts: 301	I was Little Johnny when I was little. __________________ 2002 Mineral Grey GT 5 speed FRPP 4.10 gears, Moser 31 Spline Axles, Super 40 Flowmasters, Mac O/R Pro-Chamber, Modular Powerhouse Tune Daily Driver: 2000 Toreador Red Ford Contour SE Sport V6 5 speed, SVT Dual Exhaust

05-12-2006, 02:54 PM	#9 (permalink)
mustangvsix 4 point 6 Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Flagstaff, Az / Los Alamos, NM Posts: 2,434	that is funny:banana: __________________ 2001 True Blue Cobra Convertible 1 of 292 #935 built on 4/20/01

05-12-2006, 06:39 PM	#10 (permalink)
RedFirevert04GT Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Va Beach, Va Posts: 336	That's freakin awesome. I love the way johnny thinks. __________________ '04 Red Fire vert. KB 1.7L intercooled 9lb with all the trimmin's & Big Boost kit w/ Switch Chip. Mac catted h-pipe & Mac catback. 411RWHP / 414 RWTQ.

05-12-2006, 06:42 PM	#11 (permalink)
carguy1985 Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 6	johnny kicks ass lol =) __________________ Just Another Slow Mustang GT -Felipe

05-12-2006, 06:47 PM	#12 (permalink)
GREG@94GT Posts: n/a	wow... whats up with all those crazy symbols?

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