Ponderisms: Add yours...
Married.
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,234
From: OK
Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
Why do they call it taking a dump if you don't take it anywhere?
How come you can wear a cowboy hat and no one says anything, but you wear a viking helmet and people think you're crazy.
Why do they call it taking a dump if you don't take it anywhere?
How come you can wear a cowboy hat and no one says anything, but you wear a viking helmet and people think you're crazy.
4 point 6
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,347
From: Flagstaff, Az / Los Alamos, NM
just got these by email the other day...
Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
Life is sexually transmitted.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
Life is sexually transmitted.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Member
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 80
From: waller
Originally Posted by macs03GT
does an athiest feel bad spending money that says "In God We Trust"?
CMAC
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,085
From: Tucson, AZ
Originally Posted by 2K1TBGT
damn ,thas pretty good, i'm atheist and i've never even thought of that one, i've thought of it bein in the pledge of allegiance, national anthem, etc. but not that...
hahahahahaha
Banned
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 1,637
why oh why does cancer have to be associated with eating a girl out these days? first french fries lead to heart disease...now this....that really bites...couldnt God just leave that one alone....how the hell else am i gonna get girls to overlook the fact that i eat my soup with my hands?
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