Ok, so here I am again, going to MT for girlie advice, a little different now. Ok, so my girlfriend and I have been dating for a year and eight months, I pay for EVERYTHING. Now, dont get me wrong, I believe the guy should pay for everything for about the first year, but after that, I think it should be shared a little, it doesnt have to be 50/50, but damn, every once in a while would sure be nice. So heres the delima, my gf is still in High School, and they are having some damn winter formal, basically, another way to get money out of the kids before they kick you in the nuts again for prom. So my gf is outta town with her folks, and calls me tonight, and says, he hows it going, yada yada, so are you going to give me money to buy tickets for the winter formal? So this kinda pisses me off, and I wanted yalls opinion. She was brought up with this, guys have to kiss your *** to "earn" you mentality and that the guy should pay for EVERYTHING. Thats complete Bull**** in my opinion. I shouldnt have to "earn" ****. If you love me, you love me, I have nothing to prove to you. So this pissed me off, and I wanted to know what you guys thought. And also you married guys, what did yall do. To me a relationship goes both ways, not one sided. And it pisses me off because she can go out and buy whatever the hell she wants, but I cant always do stuff that I wanna do (like for the car) because I have the car payment, gas, and usually like 3 dinners a week. WTF? Then when I make a big deal outta it, she gets pissy about her not paying for anything. Im really just getting tired of it. I love her, but I cant do this anymore. It just seems like shes changed, and I hope I dont come off as shallow, but I know Im going to and I just dont care anymore. I buy EVERYTHING. Its rediculous. Whatcha think guys (and Christie)

 

bring this to her attention...or like lie...say that ur short on cash this month because of the car payment and insurance....might work

 

Its been brought to her attention, numerous times. Just nothing gets done about it.

 

I didnt read a word you wrote, but my advice is PIIHB

 

then say F*** you....i dont feel like this relationship is a two way part.....i feel like ur taking and not giving......i give give give......and u take take take....

that last part convinced me right there

 

Looks like you got the short end of the stick.......dude my girlfriend tells me not to pay for her and not get her like expensive gifts. And we've been going out for over a year and a half now. Seriously she needs to pull her own weight. And if she doesnt then your always going to have that "hole" in your pocket......and its just going to get bigger as she gets older. IN reality your spoiling her, not good, because she probably knows she can walk all over you and get away with it......TOOL.....lol.....no seriously bring it to her attention if she loves you for who you are and NOT for what you can dish out of your pocket then she'll understand that. Hell even tell her that you need to save money and you cant do as much stuff with her that involves spending money. She needs a reality check that you dont get money out of thin air. You need to put your foot down now or shes going to start to get used to the lifestyle that you have set now. Just have a chat with her she'll understand.....unless shes a real spoiled daddy's girl then your screwed.


-I still know how to please that booty..

 

the problem begins when the relationship becomes sexual. It always seems like the girl can make a guy do ANYTHING just by resisting sex. If they want something, and they dont get it, theyre pissed and wont let you have sex with them. Now I'm not saying this is the problem bc I dont know you 2, but I know most ppl whove been dating as long and u have with her, have already started having sex..thats just how most relationships are. Since youve been with her for this long, she's obviously willing to make it last, so as long as YOU can hold your own and tell her whats on your mind, she should understand it and accept it and not want to end the relationship over something so juvenile. Then when/if she threatens no sex(since she knows that guys want it so much), act like its no big deal. She'll wonder whats up and thats when u 2 can deal it out. just my $0.02.

But if she doesnt have a job, therefore no money, then you're pretty much out of luck.

 

Well if you have brought it to her attention that you are low on money and she gets pissed at you when you say that then i think theres a problem somewhere...I have been going out with my girlfriend for almost a year now and i pay for everything but im ok with that as long as im not in debt with car payment, gas etc. and she apprechiates it. She is only a junior in high school though with no job so i dont expect her to come out and pay for anything, even though she is spoiled by her parents. But yea is you are conserned about it ... sit down and talk with her about it. Going out for a year plus you guys should be able to talk and understand eachother..Good luck

 

The thing is, she works like one day a week for her parents, and makes what I would say is decent money for the 3 hours a week she works, so its not like she doesnt have money, its just, she doesnt want to spend it on anything but what she wants. I sat down and talked with my parents, and I have pretty much come to the conclusion that its over. Money isnt the only thing that is wrong, its just, looking back, not who I need to be with at this point in my life. Im too young to have to worry about this, or feel like I have to earn ANYONE. I wish I could talk to her and fix everything, but shes just not that person. She gets back sunday, I guess we'll see then...AHH, I hate **** like this. But, Im not going to stress over it this time, I know its for the best.

 

PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN....stand up and do something about it if its that big a problem....i'm not being mean or anything but thats what you have to do instead of being quiet about it.

 

(Married Man advises)............ So you've been dating for almost 2 years. You both should know each other by now. Mention to her that maybe she could help pay something but DO NOT demand she pays anything. Don't even let her in on your real feelings bout this. Her answer may be something you can ponder for a long term relationship decision. Only you can decide if she is taking you for a one way ride. By that i do mean Money can't buy you love, But it most certainly buys you a ride.

 

Also I feel that since she is still in HS that she probally does'nt know how the real world works yet.When your still that young you think everything is always going to be easy and you have a totally different way of thinking than when you get out and start working for things on your own.Women will never understand why you need the next mod for your car (except for Christy) Just wait till you do get married and have to explain why you need a new exhaust for a brand new car

Just try and explain things to her and go from there.If she really love's you for you and not what you can do for her then you have found something special.Also your still young so if that does not work there are alot of single women out there

 

Very good advice. The #1 reason I don't have all the nice goodies I want for my Stang is. Because I am married and I want to stay that way. Women (young and old) will not ever understand why you want things that don't you don't really need. You Can lie to them but they might catch on to that. You have to give and take. And it better be more give. But at your stage in your relationship, You should be taking notes bro. While you still got time to run. Unless of course you are Really in love with her. Then that brings up a whole new ballgame. LOL GL

 

And the thing that sucks is that she is really into mustangs. LOL. I dunno, it just feels like I shouldnt have to earn her love, and her comment about that tonight just kinda opened my eyes to how she is. I dunno, we'll see on Sunday.

 

godammit PIIHB

 

LOL nah, its not like that with us.

 

mabey if you would, you wouldnt have problems...ever think of that?!

 

LOL,no, its not what either of us want, we're quite the southern couple.

 

Southern Comfort

 

Matt:

Money can be VERY devisive in a relationship. Even after marriage, money consititutes the majority of arguments and fights. In fact, differences in money can even be worse than racial and religious issues.

The way she is is the way she is. Her view of money is as much about her personal traditions and views as to the way a relationship works OR she is simply not willing to make the investment in you. Have you considered that? Probably not, because it might be too painful to admit. But think about it. If he were not that interested in a girl, would you kill yourself financially? Prolly not.

My advice to you is to either deal with it or move on.

BTW, while it is NONE of my business, I wonder if her traditional views of a relations carry over to the intimate part. If she is trully traditional and thinks you have to pay for everything, then she SHOULD also be keeping her legs closed too. But something tells me she is not which really just makes this more an issue of money and she is hiding behind her "this is the way it should be" ways as an excuse.

 

damn. wtf is up with girls? seriously?!

i have no problems paying for things with my BF. we both pay equallly...he'll pay for the movie tickets and i'll buy the popcorn and drinks or the ice cream afterwards... he'll get dinner one night, i'll get it the next.

IMO, guys can be gentleman-like on the first few dates but in a relationship, things have to be more equal. i read that you think it's over so i'm not gonna go into advice with her but i'm just giving my opinion on girls and money.

but i commend you for putting up with it that long! i think i've only dated 2 guys that wouldn't let me pay for anything.

 

Hell, i had been dating my chick for over 4 yrs and the way i figured it is. I paid for every goddamn thing for the first 3 yrs. This included, movies,dinner, clothes for her, i took her shopping, cell phone...etc. after she got a job, i tried to not pay for anything as much as possible (hell sometimes i use to hit er up for gas money ...i gave her a ride to and from work eveyday so i did it maybe once every two months or so). Heck the way i see it she should pay me back. ....but in all honesty matt, my girl was never like that, she never expeced me to pay for everything, but i did so cause i'm a good guy. ..so i think, she thinks you're her piggy bank...I'd lose her fast...but thats me...you gotta decide wether you wanna a girl that loves you for who you are, or wether you want a pretty girl by your side that uses you as her personal piggy bank...


Miguel

 

ROFL@SpringsStang's comment, but yea she is taking you for a ride, get rid of her if your good looking and charming you should have no problem getting a new girlfriend, I've been there dated a few girls, but I'm a party guy still in High School not looking for a long term relationship..friend's with benefits is the way to go in High School..no better way to meet them then at party's =D!

 

Few things, we arent kids that are into the whole sex thing, its just not worth it to us at this point in our lives, and we've been brought up that way, so thats not the issue. I think after having a day to think and cool off, I know what we need to do. We are going to sit down tomm and talk about it when she gets back, and its not that I dont mind paying, but i guess its just the thought that counts, and it would be nice for her to surprise me sometimes with, hey, ill pay tonight, or something like that. I think we can work it out, we just need to both sit down and talk it over and all that. She really is a great girl and I do love her very much, I guess its just one of those comprimise things that you get with relationships. Communication just needs to be used in this sit. Thanks for all the great advice guys, I hope I dont make her sound like too much of a bitch, cause she is a great girl, its just all in how she was brought up. Thanks guys, you never let me down.

 

LOL nah slappy, dont think it would work. Damn those legal issues...haha jk.

 

sounds like shes a little gold digger, but the age has a lot to do with it. my ex used to pay for a lot, but she was 21.

the fact that she straight up ASKS you to pay for **** is really fukd up. thats just plain rude. that girl has no class.

i took a girl out last night who was 17, and a sr in hs. gorgeous girl. i paid for everything altough she OFFERED to pay once.

just talk to her about is straight up. tell her to get a job.