What's the Funniest that ever happened between you and the cops?

here's mine.

i was driving from KC to Denver back in 2004...my Grandpa was pretty sick and I figured he wasn't gonna make 3 more months, so I drove out to see him...anyhow, I'm about 20 miles outside of Denver, and I'm going to the Veterans Admin Hospital on Colfax, and I get the sudden urge to pee. Keep in mind I been drinking Dr. Pepper for 600 miles and smokin marlboro reds.

So I'm in the left lane doing about 85 in my 5 speed 91 Honda Civic, and there's this Big Black Expedition in front of me, and he's keeping pace with the car in the slow lane, and won't let nobody by.

So I'm starting to wiggle in my seat, and trying not to **** my pants. I start riding the Expedition's ***, and he and the car next to him slow down, and I'm like you gotta be kidding me??!!!! So i let off and fall back, then i get over in the slow lane, then they both speed up, so im like to hell with it, and I drop into 3rd and punch it, and i go around them on the right shoulder...well the guy in the Expedition starts looking at me, and then he speeds up, gets behind me, and holy #$%@ it's a cop in an SUV, he turns his lights on, and I'm like if I stop I'm gonna wet myself...so I keep going...dude is on his loudspeaker ordering me to pull over, but i keep going.

Thankfully an exit is coming up and I see gas station..so i head for the exit with the cop still following me...so finally i turn into the station, slam the brakes, yank the ebrake, i leave the car running and I run into the gas station, dancing around, holding my crotch trying not to pee...the cop is out of his SUV running in after me shouting at me to get on the ground, and i look over my shoulder and see him pulling his gun, so i yell "I gotta pee, you can arrest me afterwards"..i make it to the bathroom, and relieve myself, all the time the cop is yelling at me to get out of the bathroom...so finally i finish up, and wash my hands then walk out...cop is just glaring at me, tells me to stand against the wall, and proceeds to search me, asks me if i had any drugs on me or in the car, I say no, then he asks WTF my problem is...and I said...man i was about to **** myself, and you wouldn't get out of the way on the highway.

The whole store cracks up laughing, and some little old lady comes over, and says..."Are you gonna arrest this young man, for trying to get to a bathroom cause you wouldn't get out of his way"...the cop turns about 3 shades of purple, as she starts to lecture him...finally he asks for my drivers license, registration and insurance, and tells the lady no and to go on and mind her own business, but he might give me a ticket. so he tells me to walk outside, and I notice there are 4 other cops sitting in the parking lot, 2 sitting on their hoods with hands on their holsters, he tells me to sit on the hood of my car, goes back to his Expedition, runs my name, and comes back about 7 minutes later and ends up giving me a warning, and telling me to just stop on the side of the road next time it's that bad.

I was about to say "What? and get a ticket for urinating in public and indecent exposure to passing motorists?" but i decided then was not a good time to argue, so I just let it go. Then the other cops leave, and he takes off.

I laughed all the way until I got to my grandpa's hospital...that was some funny crap.

 

2 words...

1.water
2.bottle

road trips best friend...i never go on one without an empty water bottle for just such an occasion...master the art of pissing and drivin pal...i can and have done it at 80mph...girlfriend held the bottle...

by the way...leading cops on a pursuit without stopping and then running into a bathroom is an easy way to get shot...if i were the cop and a guy just made me chase him before jumping out of the car and running into a bathroom i would have assumed the guy was dumpin somethin and holdin a gun...hence all the backup...lucky he didnt shoot

 

the cop could hear me pissing for like almost a minute and a half...but if he would have shot me, he'd be in jail for shooting an unarmed man lol. besides, i told yelled i had to pee as he was telling me to get on the ground.

 

gatorade bottles work best. i made a few 3k mile road trips.

 

haha i have never had an any pull overs or arrests but my dad is a first sergeant in the highway patrol.


i do have some funny stories about that though.

one time i was riding in his police car with him and this guy came on the radio and was like, first sarg i got a question about what to do about this situation.
my dad got on and asked what was going on and the guy replied with that some guy was driving down the road throwing kittens out of his window. apparently the guys cat had kittens and he didnt want them so he was throwing them randomly around town.


also one time this guy that works for him got in a car chase with a moped. the moped went through a park and the cop followed. the moped went through then went through a ditch onto the next road. the cop floored it thinking he would hop the ditch but ended up wrecking. the moped rider was never found

 

Jesus, he really had to ask what to do in that situation? Here in Cali you'd probably get thrown in jail and the key thrown away for cruelty to animals.

 

well thats just something that doesnt happen every day you know. it was pretty funny though.

 

very true. Can you imagine going out on patrol and seeing some guy tossing kittens out the window. ha ha ha.