I guess its time to move on....
#1
06-09-2006 | 09:15 PM
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Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 298
From: Lakeland, FL
I guess its time to move on....
Well....something happened today that i didnt think would ever happen so quickly, my girlfriend for two years broke up with me. I know 2 years does not seem like a long time but we were very close to each other. I did not even see it coming. This is the first time i have had to go through something like this and it is the most horrible feeling ever. I know that all of you guys are gonna say the same thing that i have been hearing all day, and i know that is the only thing that i can do, that i need to move on and let go. Its just so damn hard. Besides the fact that i need to move on, i really need any advice that any of you have from previous experience. How long before i should completely give up hope on getting back together with her? Thanks for any advice that you guys may have, i really need all that i can get.
#2
06-09-2006 | 09:44 PM
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Sorry to hear it man. It aint ever easy.
depends was this a fight out of nowhere that resulted in a breakup? if so, i would give her a little space and things will smooth over.
however, if she pulls you aside and gives you the "Talk" out of nowhere, then yer done, finished, out of the race and not even on the bench, kicked off.
if THAT is the case, well,
uhh...my advice is dont try to get back together, please escuse the bluntness here i dont mean to be abrasive, but she borke up with you and that means she does not want to be around you or with you anymore, best get that realization in your head. She very well may decide she misses you in a couple months, but i certainly wouldnt count on it.
focus on things you like to do that you havent done lately because of her. we all have those things that we just dont do anymore cause of the girl, get back into that kind of stuff.
most of all, just keep yourself occupied! im sure you got bunches of pics of her, well, dont throw em out or burn em, but you might want to put them somewhere else.
and in order to avoid a hit in the gut if there are places she likes to hang out dont go there unless yer prepared for the possibility she will be there with another guy.
i know you feel empty, and like somone just punched you in the gut, and that you lost the greatest thing out there, but trust me girls are a dime a dozen, even the ones that are one in a million are a dime a dozen.
when you spend enough time with a girl you change to fit her better, and she changes to fit you better. once she is gone (and unforuntaly this only is with the dump-ee) you have that hole and you might as well go ahead and go filling it. im not talking going out and getting ***** or anything, that rebound stuff can bite you in the ***, but go find a girl and flirt with her a bit. pick up an old hobby, and do things YOU like to do, not things you liked to do together. get to know yourself as an individual rather than part of a couple.
i know this cause i have been dumped more than anyone in the planet. <laugh>
good luck man, we all here for ya.
depends was this a fight out of nowhere that resulted in a breakup? if so, i would give her a little space and things will smooth over.
however, if she pulls you aside and gives you the "Talk" out of nowhere, then yer done, finished, out of the race and not even on the bench, kicked off.
if THAT is the case, well,
uhh...my advice is dont try to get back together, please escuse the bluntness here i dont mean to be abrasive, but she borke up with you and that means she does not want to be around you or with you anymore, best get that realization in your head. She very well may decide she misses you in a couple months, but i certainly wouldnt count on it.
focus on things you like to do that you havent done lately because of her. we all have those things that we just dont do anymore cause of the girl, get back into that kind of stuff.
most of all, just keep yourself occupied! im sure you got bunches of pics of her, well, dont throw em out or burn em, but you might want to put them somewhere else.
and in order to avoid a hit in the gut if there are places she likes to hang out dont go there unless yer prepared for the possibility she will be there with another guy.
i know you feel empty, and like somone just punched you in the gut, and that you lost the greatest thing out there, but trust me girls are a dime a dozen, even the ones that are one in a million are a dime a dozen.
when you spend enough time with a girl you change to fit her better, and she changes to fit you better. once she is gone (and unforuntaly this only is with the dump-ee) you have that hole and you might as well go ahead and go filling it. im not talking going out and getting ***** or anything, that rebound stuff can bite you in the ***, but go find a girl and flirt with her a bit. pick up an old hobby, and do things YOU like to do, not things you liked to do together. get to know yourself as an individual rather than part of a couple.
i know this cause i have been dumped more than anyone in the planet. <laugh>
good luck man, we all here for ya.
#3
06-09-2006 | 10:15 PM
Senior Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 719
From: San Angelo Texas
well this is how i see it. if you didnt see it coming and you have been together for 2 yrs, i would say theres a good chance of getting back together. and about the part where you say how long should you wait till you give up, dude if you still love her i say never give up. you cant give up on love. i mean 2 years, its hard to just give up on that
#4
06-09-2006 | 10:34 PM
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,786
From: California
Yeah it all depends on the circumstances of the breakup. If she did you wrong then you probably have to right her off entirely. Otherwise just give her some space for a couple weeks and see how everything starts panning out. the most important part is to act like a man. Don't show up at her door begging for her back or anything, chicks are wierd and that tends to only make it worse. Act like you don't really need her, and she's more likely to remember why you got together in the first place. It sucks now, but rest assured that everyone else has been dumped at least once before too, so we feel ya.
#5
06-10-2006 | 12:46 AM
DSG!!!
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 3,159
From: Paducah, KY
I agree with the above. I'd also do a lot of thinking and see if you two are really right for each other. I only say this because me and my ex bf were together for about the same amount of time and broke up.. didn't talk at all for a year and a half, started talking again and almost got back together.. and then i realized that even the whole time i thought i wanted to be with him, he actually wasn't right for me. wish I would have realized it a lot sooner.
#6
06-10-2006 | 01:46 AM
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Posts: n/a
If you guys broke up over something not tooo bad try to get back together, talk to her, tell her you really want to, but dont sit there confessing your love to her that dosn't really work. But tell her you will change and you really want to be with her, if she was serious in the two years then she will get back. if she wasn't just kick her in the teeth.
#7
06-10-2006 | 07:00 AM
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Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 298
From: Lakeland, FL
sorry it took so long for the reply, tried to get some sleep last night. Thanks for all of the advice that you guys have given me. As for the reason we broke up im not really sure. It was just a small argument because every night that i would have off she would go off with her friends or have to work and i was starting to get frustrated. We did not talk to each other for a few days and then i got a message saying that she didnt want to be with me anymore. I tried to call her that night to see what was going on but she would not answer her phone. The next morning i brought her some of the clothes that she left at my house. She told me that there was another guy she liked but she was not going out with him. And she said that she still had feelings for me but did not say that she would want to get back together. I hate to give up because i love her but i feel like that is the only thing i can do. Thanks again for all the advice.
#8
06-10-2006 | 11:25 AM
Banned Forever
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 756
From: Raleigh, NC
Hey man, it'll get easier and seem like just a memory. Give yourself time. My girl left me after 5 years and we have a child together. It's going to suck and hurt for a while, but keep your pride and keep yourself busy and you'll get through it. If it's over, let it be over, getting back together with her will never be worth it. If she's going to leave you because she likes another guy, she will do it again. Forget her, best advice I can give you. I can almost guarantee that she's dating / flirting with the other guy and not giving a f*ck how this is bothering you. Let her go and move on, you being miserable will make her feel better and give her the upper hand. Just be around to laugh at her and say "Nah" when / if she does realize she made a mistake by leaving you.
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