things to ponder
> can you cry under water?
> > How important does a person have to be before they are considered > assassinated instead of just murdered? > > > If money doesn't grow in trees then why do banks have branches? > > Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? > > Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for > your thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to? > > Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were > buried in for eternity? > > > Why does a round pizza come in a square box? > > What disease did cured ham actually have? > > How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a > good idea to put wheels on luggage? > > Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up > like every two hours? > > > If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? > > If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you? > > Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? > > Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars > to look at things on the ground? > > > How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss > America? > > > Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you > naked anyway. > > > If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call? > > Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? > > Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup? > > Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze > these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!" > > Or watch a white thing come out a chicken behind and think, "that ought to > taste good." > > Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible > crisp, which no decent human being would eat? > > > Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? > > When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you > to smile? If you are stopped buy the police and asked for you license, are > you going to be smiling? > > If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about > him? > > Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? > > If the professor on Gilligan's island can make a radio out of a coconut, > why can't he fix a hole in a boat? > > Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't > point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? > > Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both > dogs! > > What do you call male ballerinas? > > Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream? > > If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't > he just buy dinner? > > If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, > what is baby oil made from? > > If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? > > Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? > > Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? > > Why did you just try singing the two songs above? > > Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call > it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? > > Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at > you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the > window? |
My brain hurts!!!
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best ones are
Originally Posted by GREG@94GT
> can you cry under water?
> > Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round? > > > How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a > good idea to put wheels on luggage? > > Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up > like every two hours? > How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss > America? > Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you > naked anyway. > > Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze > these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!" > > Or watch a white thing come out a chicken behind and think, "that ought to > taste good." > > Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible > crisp, which no decent human being would eat? > > Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't > point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? > > > Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream? > > If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't > he just buy dinner? > Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call > it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? > > Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at > you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the > window? |
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