I cant freaking believe this happened. Im not kidding either. This was rediculous.

So, my budy Tim recently got with this girl. She is a pretty cool chick and fun to hang out with. Well, she absolutly loves me to death and has made it her mission in life to get me laid as much as possible untill she can find me the right woman.
See? She kicks ***.

Anyways, she has a friend she wanted to hook me up with last night. She pulled all kinds of strings to get this chick to come out with her, and she talked me up like a champ.

Last night im getting off work and wanting to maybe go roast a bowl and crash out. My buddy tim calls up, says Desere's is bringing her friend to our end of town. Hell, im down.

I go to the local watering hole and buy a beer and sit back and relax. Tim and Desere show up about 1/2 hour later by themselves....

WTF?

Desere says that her friend got pulled over as she was getting off 285 & simms, and said she should be there in a few.

20 min passes. Where is she?

40 min passes and desere is all freaked out. We have had some trouble in this town with fake cops pulling people over. She calls Jeffco police and they have no report of her being dragged in, but that they are so busy she might be there.

Anyways, i was figuring she might have had a beer before coming this way and got pulled over and got a dui. the drinking and driving laws in denver are real strict, blow like a .01 and they bust you for drunk driving. Rediculous.

So this morning I finally found out what happened.

She got pulled over, the cop ran her up and did a quick background check, found a warrant and arrrested her ***.

Now here is the best part, Her name is Alicia. They had a warrant for a girl of the same last name but named Alisha. THEY ARRESTED THE WRONG ****ING WOMAN AND TOTALLY ****ED UP MY GAME.

She sat in jail untill 4am while these incompetant morons sat around shoving nightsticks up eachothers cornholes instead of actually making a major law enforcement breakthrough and actually VERIFYING that they had the right girl.

Ticks me off! aint gonna get a chance to meet her for probably 4 days at the minumim.

What buggs me is that these are not ho's. Not bar rats, not *****, im talking about caliber women here, hotter than the sun, intelligent, great careers, no baggage, im talking the entire freakin package. Hot Successful CLASSY Women!!!!!

With the bad streak of luck ive had with chicks i meet at bars, this is what im looking for!!!!!!

Stupid ****ing cops.

 

Well, if the cops diddnt ARREST MY DATE i probably would have had a pic. That Desere chick showed me a pic of this girl on her phone, and yeah, i was pretty impressed.

Give me a few days, ill get some pics.

 

Here is a pic to hold you over, the chump on the ground is me.
Take this scenario, put it on the side of the road, and replace me with a superhottie, and that is how her night went

EDIT: Oh yeah, that was an interesting night that the pic was taken

 

Yeah well while yer all sittin around figuring who is gonna give who a reach around, im working to see if i can get that chick back in this end of town tonight and try this again. <rofl>

 

Thats how i roll. Straight baller status right here guy. Thug to the bone.

I ride fast, i **** hard and i dont take no bull****. If yer not with me yer against me and if yer not willing to be in the big picture get the **** out of my way. Im a goddamn superhero and i live in the world of guns and vigilanti justice, if you cant take the heat then get the **** out!

Its a tought life, being a thug, but you gotta represent what yer about and dont let nobody take that from you!
















Actually the "cop" is a buddy of mine at my halloween party, we were just clowning around. see the red tip on the barrel? LOL

 

Heh. This pretty much sums me up to a T.

I play in a band
We're the best in the land
We're big in both Chelsea and France
I play one mean guitar and then score at the bar
There's a line of chicks waiting for their chance
So come on now honey, I'll make you feel pretty
These other gals mean nothing to me
Let's finish these drinks and be gone for the night
'Cause I'm more than a handfull you'll see
I can bench press a car
I'm an ex football star
with degrees from both Harvard and Yale
Girls just can't keep up
I'm a real love machine
I've had far better sex while in jail
I designed the Sears tower
I make two grand an hour
I cook the world's best duck flambe
I'll take the pick of the litter
And girls jockey for me
I don't need these lines to get laid
I'm the man of the night
A real ladies delight
See, my figure was chisled from stone
One more for the gal then I'll escort her home
Come last call, I'm never alone
I own a house on the hill with a red water bed
It puts Hugh Heffnor's mansion to shame
With girls by the pool and italian sports cars
I'm just here in this dump for the game

Ahh, **** it. Who am I ****tin'?

I'm a pitiful sight
And I ain't all that bright
I'm definitly not chisled from stone
I'm a cheat and a liar
No woman's desire
I'll probably die cold and alone

So kiss me, I'm ****faced
and i'm soaked and i'm soiled and brown in the trousers,
She kissed me!
And I only bought her one round

 

Dude, i gotta say, that is the best freakin avatar ive ever seen.

 

Oh yah, gotta watch out. Tell ya what, more often than not girls will put out the first night if they go out with you. They know right off the bat the instant they see you weather or not the would sleep with you.

I dunno, ive been pulling this single game for 10 years now and end up with 3-4 girls a year on average. Sometimes more, sometimes less. That really adds up. So far, at least 75% give it up the first night, and out of all the girls probably abour 40% of the time they dont want you to use a rubber cause they are allergic to many types of lubricant.

So far i have been beating the odds, i get tested after every girl or so, which is more than most guys get checked out, and so far all's goood in the hood. However, on a long enough time line small chances become large possibilitys.

Ive had my time and ive haad my fun and ive been lucky. Ever since around this time last year ive lost interest in simply scoring, now im looking for the whole 9 yards, the kids, in-laws, family, that all really appeals to me. Im all about meeting this girl, but if she is ready to get down the first night i aint doing it, and im not going to pursue her. A girl has to make me wait, cause if i nail her the first night, there is a chance that later in the relationship some guy will meet her while out on girls night and she will bang him the first night too.

Slappy = Aint interested in any Ho's.