A joke for Married Guys
TO MY DEAR WIFE:
> >During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. > > >I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. > >The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often: > >54 times the sheets were clean >17 times it was too late >49 times you were too tired >20 times it was too hot >15 times you pretended to be sleep >22 times you had a headache >17 times you were afraid of waking the baby >16 times you said you were too sore >12 times it was the wrong time of the month >19 times you had to get up early >9 times you said weren't in the mood >7 times you were sunburned >6 times you were watching the late show >5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo >3 times you said the neighbors would hear us >9 times you said your mother would hear us > >Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory >because: > >6 times you just laid there >8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling >4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with >7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished >1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move > >KEEP READING....... > >================================================= ========= > >TO MY DEAR HUSBAND: > >I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you >didn't >get more than you did: > >5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat >36 times you did not come home at all >21 times you didn't cum >33 times you came too soon >19 times you went soft before you got in >38 times you worked too late >10 times you got cramps in your toes >29 times you had to get up early to play golf >2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls 4 times >you got it stuck in your zipper 3 times you had a cold and your nose >was running 2 times you had a splinter in your finger >20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day >6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book >98 times you were too busy watching TV > >Of the times we did get together: > >The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the >sheets. >I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would >you prefer me on my back or kneeling?" >The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to >breathe. |
dang. I cant wait til I get married!!!!
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ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!! lookin forrward to marriage ;)
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