How can I say this nicely???
 

Ok so I need advice on how to tell all of my roommates to more or less start doing stuff here without being a jerk about it. My old roommate was a neat freak and I hated how he always asked me to clean stuff and when I do clean it better....

Example: last 3 parties (the first two I was sick with mono, which literally almost killed me so I slept through them) I was the only one to clean up our house after...

After I get back up here from being home for 2 weeks where all I did was try to sleep off being sick, the house was trashed though there were no parties during that time, I can't even begin to describe what I found growing...

Last 2 snowstorms I was the only one to shovel anything off, there was one in between when I was not here that they did not shovel at all....

It's not that they are dirty they just never do any of the "household chores" and sometimes forget to just clean up after themselves (I do that too but I eventually take care of it, not a week later), and it adds up

Dude, I feel ya. I'm a very neat and organized guy. My first college roomate was a nasty mess, second guy was great, neat and orderly like me. My girlfriend who I've lived with for the past four years is kind of in the middle. She can stand more mess than I can and doesn't get around to doing chores as quickly as I would.

You have to make everyone responsible for something. Just have to explain to them that there is an issue and that everyone needs to grow up because Mom isn't around and your not taking her place (not that my Mom picked up after me). Make sure everyone understand and agrees to clean up the mess they make. Trash, if it's yours, you take it to the trash can. If you use a glass or plate, when your done you take it to the sink or dishwasher. You can make a rotation of whos' week it is to do dishes, take out the trash, vacuum, dust, etc. This way your own messes is a non-issue and more group mess stuff get's done.

The girlfriend and I typically have one time period out of the week where we will clean more than just picking up dishes or messes and we will split up the tasks. I'll typically take dusting, vacuum, mopping, and she will take cleaning the bathroom and kitchen. So you could schedule a time period where you all pitch in and clean as much as possible.

I don't think you'll come off as an ass for wanting your common living space to stay orderly. Their room or space, let them do what they want if it doesn't affect your space. Men shouldn't get butt hurt over being told they are slobs, it's typically inherent and a known problem, just provide solutions and it will come off fine.

My first roomate would let his trash pile up feet above the top of the bin, along with what he had strewn around his area. Early one morning, while he was still sleeping, I saw a roach run from under his bed which was a mess also, run to behind his trash can. That was it, fuck bugs, that's gross. I shook him as he laid in the bed and yell at him to "take his trash out, fucking wildlife was moving in on us! I'm going to class and when I come back it better not be here!"

Don't be a dick about it just tell them in plain simple direct English CLEAN UP YOUR MESS!
Tell them you aint gonna live in a dumpster. Don't beat around the bush! I'm like FR, I ain't gonna pay to live bugs because somebody wont clean up thier own mess. Its the only way they will understand.

Stop doing it all. Your post really makes it sound like they have you by the balls. Just clean up after yourself, and they'll eventually get the message.

That probably sounds like a quick easy thing to do, but if you have a difficult time living with a mess around you, you'd go crazy before they got the message. With most guys, if you don't flat out say it, they won't realise anything is wrong. I can only stand a certain level of mess before I get irritated and mean, so I either need to clean it or get the girlfriend to. There is no way I'd be able to only clean my mess and let her do how she'd want. Tight leash and a strong hand, ya know.

Remind them that they dont live with mommy anymore. If they dont get the message and continue to be messy fucks, then take their trash that they dont clean up and put it in their rooms...or inside their pillow cases.

Stop cleaning. If they dont start cleaning, start throwing shit away.
Thats how I got my roommates attention. You probably dont have to be a dick about it, but I found better success that way...I dunno. My roommates were passive.

I tried the stop cleaning, and ended up being afraid to cook food in the kitchen (I am the only one that prepares and cooks stuff harder than pasta... That one didn't work... I also tried the whole sticky note mess and that turned out to be a joke (i dont remember who said do that but someone suggested it to me).
It is just frustrating to clean up and like today find pasta sauce baked on the top of the stove, I wish I could catch them doing it to give them a reminder but I always seem to be somewhere else.

I guess I was looking for a way to do it without having to continually be on their case.

I may end up just doing what zig said, putting it in their rooms so they are forced to see it (assuming I know who did it)

No amount of passive aggressive bullshit is going to fix it. Honesty and forthrightness will. I've been there, done that, got the T-shirt. As soon as they start taking advantage of you they're trying to establish dominance and when you pull their load you're giving in to it. You have to break that nonsense with something blunt and forceful. Guys respond to direction, not orders and they really negatively respond to passive aggressive means like stuffing dishes in their bed.

Simple enough: "Guys, you don't really pull your weight around here as far as maintaining this place. It's not enough to just pay your share of the rent. You're now taking advantage of me and I don't appreciate it. I tried being nice about it, I tried sticky notes, I tried all kinds of things and you think it's a joke. Clean up or leave. I'm sorry but I don't have time to deal with your garbage and my own. This is not funny, it's not a joke and I will absolutely give you the boot if you don't pull it together and help out around here. To make it easy on every one I gave us all chores, just like when we were kids. JonDoe: you have daily dishes and weekly dusting. I've got daily garbage detail and weekly vacuuming. Hippienumbnuts: you've got daily latrine detail and weekly yard work. Complaints can be filed with the department of I don't give a fuck anymore I'm not your manservant."

Pile up all the shit against their bedroom doors while they're sleeping. Once they open the door, all the shit pours into their room. Worked on my cousin and he started taking out the trash.

Clean up or.....


http://i56.tinypic.com/2d00y8o.gif

haha, sticky notes. I remember getting those for my 1 night old dishes in the sink. I would confront my roommate that was famous for doing that shit. I would just tell him that hey man why cant you just tell me that it bugs you if i leave dirty dishes overnight, haha.

I was the vacuum dust nazi in the house but i got shit for dishes. Strange.

I usually just straight up tell people that "hey, why am i the only asshole in the house taking out the trash and picking up here and there. When I know I am not the one making all of the mess. Keep the fucking common areas clean and decent!"

I'm not a scary guy but I can get edgy if things are going in a direction that is taking advantage of my niceness.

I can identify with you, because I lived with just my dad and brother before I moved in with my boyfriend and his little sister who is 15 years old that he has custody of.

Living with my dad wasn't too bad because my dad cleans up after himself and he'd always back me up when I bitched at my brother. Living with my boyfriend isn't bad, but I feel like his sister could do more to help and he could do more to make her help. 99% of the time, I do the dishes and most of the other housework. Damn near every single time I do the dishes, she'll use dishes immediately afterwards and just put them in the sink, when it wouldn't even take her one measly minute to wash them. Yesterday, my boyfriend said he asked her to do the dishes so I wouldn't have to. She is home from Christmas break and he gets home at noon, so dishes had accumulated from the night before when I did them last. She goes "they're not mine so I'm not washing them". I ripped her a new one. I told her that "I never complain when I wash your dishes. You aren't your brother's kid but he still takes care of you. We pay the bills and buy your food. The least you can do is get up off your ass and wash some dishes." She got up and washed them, after some more huffing and puffing. I just laughed at her. I hate kids.

I just think you should be direct, like Red said. Don't fuck around. Just say, "look, I'm tired of cleaning up your messes and I'm not your slave. You are all old enough to take care of yourselves now and you need to start doing it. It doesn't take much to do general maintenance around here. If you can sit on your ass for 4 hours playing video games (or whatever it is that they do), you can spend 30 minutes cleaning up your mess. So from now on, don't expect me to do it anymore because this is the end of it. If you don't like it, you can get your shit and get out". Show them Slim's gif, haha!

Good luck with this shit. Since I'm so late replying, I'm sure you have said something. At least I hope you have. People only treat you how you let them treat you, so tell those bitches what's up.

got to agree with r3d, you just have to sit them down and tell them that it isn't working. if they don't bother doing it on their own then no hints and letting stuff go will give them the picture. they don't clean because they simply don't care. u just got to tell them that u can't stand it and can't live with it very much longer. they will either respect you or you will need to part ways. some people make great freinds but horrible roomates.

honestly just be straight up, tell them to clean up or you guys will need to re-do your living arrangements, possibly them or you moving, etc. Or separate your stuff from theirs and if they leave a mess kindly return there smelly laundry, their dirty dishes, or cups and glasses left over from parties to their rooms. If you shovel the snow outside, shovel it right on to/behind their cars. Once they have to start living with their filth or becomes inconvenient their bound to start cleaning up some. But start off with a roommate meeting and see if they won't start contributing.

Got it figured out! at least in a way I don't care if I end up cleaning a little more. If I clean (common places) and don't get help I get paid... and if any of the mess is someone's that I am sure I am putting it in their beds if they don't take care of it in a few days, they were sure I will never have to so they all agreed.

haha, sometimes when my son gets a build up of cups and empty chip bags and junk in his room i just pile them up right in the middle of his bed. most of the time i just look the next day and it is all gone