FML. Satan Help Me.
 

So, here's the deal. My little 18 year old brother had a 1995 Ford Ranger which he blew up because he didn't put any oil in it. After 2 months of searching for another vehicle, he finally found one yesterday with help from a friend who lives down the road. He found a 1995 Civic LX. It is totally stock, paint is in pretty good shape and isn't a bad little car for the 1,000 he paid for it. It seems to run pretty strong and you can tell that whoever had it before him took pretty good care of it. But...

Since I mentioned the word 'Civic' you may be able to find fault in that. Your first thought is most likely correct. One of our sources of endless rage, direct malicious insults, and incessent amusements... a ricer.

He's already talking about his 'plans'. An intake, 'exhaust', and a 'body kit' are on his to-do list. He wants to put neons underneath the car and in the dashboard. He went online last night at the dude's house who helped him buy the car and has a body kit picked out already. What it looks like, I don't know. I will probably cry or go on a killing spree when I see it.

What the fuck should I do? I pissed him off last night from making fun of him. One of the things I told him last night was that if he got a huge spoiler, it would be great. That way when the dryer breaks, it will finally have a functional use. I think I should bring him along on one of our next Mustang meets, that way he can see what a proper car looks like. I may force Dustin to take my brother for a ride in his car and for the rest of you to talk some sense into him. I'm at my wits fucking end and I need some help.



Fuck my life. Satan help me. My little brother is a fucking ricer.


:mad: :( :godamnit: :noooo: :Bigsmack: :verypissed: :2gunsfiring1: :kicknuts: :nunu: :hittingthefan: :violent-smiley-045: :hashy_diaf: :eek2: :chairshot:

You have FAILED as a big sister!! :D:D:D

FAIL.

Your brother FTL.

I damn sure feel that way. My dad and his 3 little brothers had American muscle cars when they were my age. They've all built and modified their share of engines. We were raised to like, respect, and love American muscle. So I don't know where we went wrong. I can't wait for my dad's family to hear my brother's plans for this car. If he can't take just me making fun of him, he'll want to die when my 3 uncles get ahold of him. My dad said my brother can turn his car in to a 'rice burning piece of shit whenever the hell he moves out of his house because he's not going to have a piece of shit car that sounds like a fart sitting in his driveway'. God, I love my dad. :D

That's what he gets for being into that 'hip hop' and 'thug' culture and for having stupid like-minded friends. He hangs out with the wrong people. They're all morons who wear their pants hanging off their ass, have to dig around in their mommy and daddy's couches for change to put gas into their POS cars, and worship Lil' Wayne and any other idiot that has a video where gold teeth, ass, tits, and money falling from the sky is involved.

My brother also has a friend that drives an older Neon and it has 'duals'. I asked the kid 'why does your Neon have dual exhaust, I'm pretty sure it doesn't need it'. He replied with something along the lines of 'oh, it doesn't. I got a muffler part and it is just tied up there to make it look like it has duals'. I just stood there with this dumbfounded look on my face and I told him that he was a 'typical ricer with no brains, who put 3,000 if that into his car and still has an slow, ugly, piece of shit to show for it'. I haven't seen that kid back at our house since, but I did see an ugly white Neon with duals driving down the road the other day. I couldn't help but laugh. None of his friends drive a domestic, either.


The good thing is, that my brother doesn't have a job and all of this won't happen anytime soon. I hope my dad stays true to his word when he says that my brother will have to move out before any of this happens. I am not looking forward to being woken up at 2am to the sound of a fart can outside my window. :mad:

Thanks for the laugh, Val :D

beat is fucking ass! and remind him that his riced out civic well never touch your GT or the old people in your city who drive 20 under in their Crown Vic's and Lincoln's.

OMG NO BODY KITS!! Don't be made to each their own....

but if he wants more power since he has the most god awefull slow model they have tell him screw intake and exhaust for now because it would be pointless but tell him to look into a mini me swap(tell him search honda-tech.com). Its basically putting a single cam vtec z6 head on a non vtec motor w/ecu swap. He can pick them up dirt cheap on tamparacing, orlando forums, ect...I just sold one a few months ago for 80bux but they go for about 200 usually. Its an easy 30hp gain from just a head swap a hell of a lot more than any bolt on. Then tell him to look into an ex/si trans which is a hell of a lot better because of the gearing and is good for .8 in the 1/4 mile.

you welcome Mr. mustangboard ricer lol

Wait wait wait, if your brother's a ricer doesn't that make you a ricer by blood?

OMG this thread delivers. I feel bad for you Val. I think it would be a good idea to bring him to the next meet so he can catch a ride with Dustin, just make sure he doesn't bring his rice.

To me, a motor swap for a measly 30hp gain is not worth it. That means his car will have 132hp or so after that, haha. I looked it up this morning and it has 102hp at 5,000 rpms. :rolleyes: However, that is more than my '93 Mustang. :eek:

Fuck my life twice. I guess I have to go get a blood transfusion now. :(

He is not a bad kid... just likes stupid shit and has stupid friends. He is too lazy to do his own research so he relies on everything these ricers tell him. I think I'm going to give him one of the stickers from my C/C plates and tell him that each sticker gives him 25hp, just for shits and giggles. The guy that helped him get the car has an '05 Mustang GT and he is a ricer at heart. He is also putting all these ideas into my brother's head. This is a guy who takes his stock airbox off, NO FILTER, for a cold air intake. He's the last person my brother should be taking advice from.

God, I can go on and on about this. I can't wait until my uncles get ahold of him. He thinks I tore him apart last night? He hasn't heard anything yet.

No, they say things skip a generation, so wouldn't that come from one of her parents or something? :p

Tell him that if he can beat you in a race you won't set his car on fire

wow, your brother is a wigger... that sux for you and him...and he;s too stupid to realize it. I'd be more worried about him wanting to be a thug than what car he drives.

All ricers should do this mod immediately! It is great for the motor and will help the car last a very long time so we can continue to see its beautifulness on the road for hours or even days to come! :beatup:

Tell him to port his heads by sucking up sand through the intake while he's at it.

x2 and put some NOS in his gas tank

and val its a head swap for 30hp and cost around 200bux so it aint so bad if hes gonna do anything to it just no damn body kits!!

Just go pour some sugar in his gas tank and don't say a word.

Fixt ;)

bwahahahahhahahahahahaha neener. Naw seriously, after he's made his 1200hp bolt-on civic, race him. Then taunt him every single day and twice on Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday.

blow up the civic, nuff said

Come on man, you got alot of catching up on Mythbusters to do....

yeah yeah. Just play all nice and convince him to put a really big turbo on the car.

tell him he needs nitrous oxide and when he starts refering to it as NAWZ kick him in the berries

The car wouldn't be able to spool a really big turbo :p

LOL! FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!! times eleventy:kicknuts:

....You kind of make me want to beat up your brother.....

I'll try to be a voice of reasoning here. Let Lil Bro drive the ricer for a while. You should probably encourage it. IMHO any 18 yr old shouldn't be driving any thing with enough HP to breaks the tires loose. These kids end up wrapping their cars around trees and other cars. When he turns the ripe old age of 20 something, then he might realize the error of his ricer ways, and figure out that the fast and furious was just a movie, and doesn't apply to real life. Tell him to get a job, act like at least half an adult, and use the Honda as a DD, not a race car. My 17 yr old son aint gonna drive anything that even resembles tire smoking power.. If he ever gets his permit. or his license. :rolleyes:

I had a decently quick car and turned out alright. I wouldn't generalize and say that all teenagers don't have the common sense not to act stupid.

Same here, the day I turned 18 I was at the bank getting a loan on my N20 injected Mach 1 with tons of other ridiculous mods that I definitely don't need and I take care of that thing better than I probably will my first born child.