Mustang Boards - Woke up in Heaven.

Tom did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into
> >> bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an
> >> elderly man dressed in a white robe standing in front of his bed.
> >>
> >> "What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?...and who are you?" he
> >> asked.
> >>
> >> "This is not your bedroom," the man replied, "I am St. Peter, and you
> >> are in heaven."
> >
>
> ;>
> >> "WHAT! Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die! I'm too young,"
> >> said Tom. "I want you to send me back immediately."
> >>
> >> "It's not that easy", said St.Peter. "You can only return as a dog or
>
> >> a hen. The choice is your own."
> >>
> >> Tom thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is
>
> >> too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running
> >> around with a rooster can't be that bad.
> >>
> >> "I want to return as a hen," Tom replied.
> >>
> >> And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really
> >> nicely feathered. But now he felt like his rear end was gonna blow.
> >> Then along came the rooster.!
>
>
> >>
> >> "Hey, you must be the new hen St. Peter told me about," he said. "How
>
> >> do you like being a hen?"
> >>
> >> "Well, OK I guess, but it feels like my ass is about to
> >>
>
> explode."
> >>
> >> "Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on. You
>
> >> need to lay an egg."
> >>
> >> "How do I do that?" Tom asked.
> >>
> >> "Cluck twice, and then you push all you can."
> >>
> >> Tom clucked twice and pushed more than he was good for, and then
> >> 'plop' an egg was on the ground.
> >>
> >> "Wow" Tom said. "That felt really good!" So he clucked again and
> >> squeezed. And you better believe that there was yet another egg on
> >> the ground. The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout:
> >>
> >> "Tom, for Christ's sake! Wake up! You're shittin' all over the bed!"