Mustang Boards - Little Johnny

LITTLE JOHNNY ON PHILOSOPHY:

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gun shot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that¹s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is Œthe one with the wedding ring on,¹ but I like your thinking."
LITTLE JOHNNY ON MATH:

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an "F" in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father.

"The teacher asked me, 'How much is 2x3?'" "I said, Œ6¹," replies Johnny. "But that¹s right," said the father.

Johnny continued, "Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'" "What's the ****ing difference?" asks the father. "That¹s what I said!" exclaimed Johnny.

LITTLE JOHNNY ON ENGLISH:

Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, Class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"

Little Johnny says, "Mas-tur-bate."

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Johnny, that¹s a mouthful."

Little Johnny says, "No, Miss Rogers, you¹re thinking of a blowjob."