Cop Quotes Joke
 

The following 15 Police Comments were taken off of actual police car videos around the country.

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth
certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you
didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired
from my gun."

#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that
means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think
it will help. Oh .. did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to
do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you
are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where
you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in
monkey DOO."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife
gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have
quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as
we want."

#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal
friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post
your bail."

And............. THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right,we don't. Sign here."

haha those were all great. I liked this one

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife
gets a toaster oven."

maybe this is my problem.... lol...

now thats what I need...some T and A... it's sooo true though!, you have no idea...lol everyone has the one girlfriend who hasn't gotten but like 1 ticket her entire life, even though she's the worst driver in the group...

#1 was funny, actually they were all funny but #1 was the funniest....haha

LOL Nice.

asldkaldkjadfa

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to
do that again or I'll give you another ticket."


My personal fav. A new aquaintance of mine is a NC Trooper. He pulled a woman over for 87 in a 65. She was running later to get her son from b-ball practice. She begged him for a warning, he took her license and registration to his cruiser and wrote her ticket out. He brought it back to her and she asked about her warning. He said, just sign the ticket and I'll give you your warning. She signed and he gave her the warning. "If I pull you over for going that fast again, I'll write you another one."

My Brother sent me those awhile ago, but there was more to them, like what the criminal said in return to the officer was even better.