How to shower

Badfish · 10-18-2005, 11:24 PM

How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair wi th grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real passion fruit.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower and stand on bathmat.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

------------------------------------------------------

How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.

Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and ! surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Avoid bathmat.

Dry off forearms and butt only.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water fly off.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.

Have a great day! And, "woo woo"!!!

csledd · 10-19-2005, 07:00 AM

that's an old school joke, but still funny

dsdaddy · 10-19-2005, 07:04 AM

I don't get it...what's so funny???

FritoBandito · 10-19-2005, 07:23 AM

Good one springs- lmao @ shakin weiner "woo-woo"

Mikes04stang · 10-19-2005, 08:30 AM

damn good one springs. i think im gonna have to pass that one on to some friends.

10-19-2005, 10:49 AM

haha this is so true and i think chicks realize it too, When i was going out with my ex and we use to talk about the day we get married and buy a house, she wanted to have two bathrooms, one for her and one for me, and i would of put a urinal in mine.

MattJ · 10-19-2005, 10:55 AM

I do all of those except make a shampoo mo-hawk.

Jennifer · 10-19-2005, 02:18 PM

Lol....

foncarelli · 10-19-2005, 02:21 PM

Lot of truth in that one

Shambles · 10-20-2005, 11:02 AM

Woo-Woo!!!

Badfish · 10-20-2005, 02:47 PM

shambles is a supermod now

*pours some out of his 40 for his homie venom*

Mikes04stang · 10-20-2005, 02:53 PM

where is venom?? havent seen him around much lately.

dannyb785 · 10-20-2005, 02:59 PM

dear lord. there are tears coming out of my eyes. and now i gotta go to class. that was INSANELY funny bc I do 95% of those things

Shambles · 10-20-2005, 03:04 PM

I sent this around the office today. Everyone here at MT got a good laugh.

Badfish · 10-20-2005, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MTShambles

I sent this around the office today. Everyone here at MT got a good laugh.

your welcome

10-18-2005, 11:24 PM	#1 (permalink)
Badfish Listen to reggae. Join Date: May 2005 Location: Colorado Springs, CO Posts: 8,800	How to shower How To Shower Like a Woman: Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair wi th grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real passion fruit. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower.Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower and stand on bathmat. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ------------------------------------------------------ How To Shower Like a Man: Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and ! surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bathmat. Dry off forearms and butt only. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water fly off. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on bed. If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you. Have a great day! And, "woo woo"!!! __________________ '04 2.3l Evo '86 GSXR 750

10-19-2005, 07:00 AM	#2 (permalink)
csledd DSG!!! Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Paducah, KY Posts: 3,074	that's an old school joke, but still funny __________________ CAP DSG Registry 2003 Mustang GT - daily driven check out my cardomain for more info 296 rwhp / 310 rwtq Money spent @ AM: $4623.20 1984 Mustang Hatch - low budget project

10-19-2005, 07:04 AM	#3 (permalink)
dsdaddy Grayscale background FTW! Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 1,491	I don't get it...what's so funny??? __________________ 247 RWHP 289 RWTQ Props to Slither for the sig!!!

10-19-2005, 07:23 AM	#4 (permalink)
FritoBandito Married. Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: OK Posts: 1,234	Good one springs- lmao @ shakin weiner "woo-woo" __________________ 2004 OXFORD GT Parts that matter:K&N,O/R-H,Flow 40's,Xcal2,FRPP 4.10s, Bullitt Susp. kit

10-19-2005, 10:55 AM	#7 (permalink)
MattJ Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Racine, WI Posts: 10,243	I do all of those except make a shampoo mo-hawk. __________________ 2001 Mustang GT Premium - Mineral Grey

10-19-2005, 08:30 AM	#5 (permalink)
Mikes04stang Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: dallas texas Posts: 495	damn good one springs. i think im gonna have to pass that one on to some friends.

10-19-2005, 10:49 AM	#6 (permalink)
SpinMedia Posts: n/a	haha this is so true and i think chicks realize it too, When i was going out with my ex and we use to talk about the day we get married and buy a house, she wanted to have two bathrooms, one for her and one for me, and i would of put a urinal in mine.

10-19-2005, 02:18 PM	#8 (permalink)
Jennifer Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Tallahassee, FL Posts: 41	Lol.... __________________

10-19-2005, 02:21 PM	#9 (permalink)
foncarelli Everyday Im Hustlin Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Ecorse, Michigan Posts: 3,648	Lot of truth in that one __________________

10-20-2005, 11:02 AM	#10 (permalink)
Shambles The Baninator! Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Springfield, PA Posts: 2,652	Woo-Woo!!! __________________ Chris "Shambles" Chamblee

10-20-2005, 02:47 PM	#11 (permalink)
Badfish Listen to reggae. Join Date: May 2005 Location: Colorado Springs, CO Posts: 8,800	shambles is a supermod now pours some out of his 40 for his homie venom __________________ '04 2.3l Evo '86 GSXR 750

10-20-2005, 02:53 PM	#12 (permalink)
Mikes04stang Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: dallas texas Posts: 495	where is venom?? havent seen him around much lately.

10-20-2005, 02:59 PM	#13 (permalink)
dannyb785 Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 3,176	dear lord. there are tears coming out of my eyes. and now i gotta go to class. that was INSANELY funny bc I do 95% of those things

10-20-2005, 03:04 PM	#14 (permalink)
Shambles The Baninator! Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Springfield, PA Posts: 2,652	I sent this around the office today. Everyone here at MT got a good laugh. __________________ Chris "Shambles" Chamblee

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