i love soccermoms

Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high
schooldiploma to fix one.

Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in their jobs. After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews
lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last...

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding
on
something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

FritoBandito

LOL!!! I love smart ass humor.

madmatt

BWAHAHAHA. Thats some funny crap. I like the live bugs on backorder one.

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shad0ws

Wow, those are the best.

Cat installed.

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i love soccermoms

i like the "engine found after brief search" one

MineralGT

Saw this on another board...I like the midget one.

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-James

2002 Mineral Gray GT

Link To My Rides Page
Link To Myspace Page

dsdaddy

As an Air Force aircraft mechanic, I really wish I could get away with some of those sign-offs once in a while

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Badfish

hahah the cat one had me rolling

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