When your woman wont put out...
 

Too funny I had to repost.

Termi-addict on svtp wrote:

When your women wont put out

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One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while sh e tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where se picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all

dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch w ith my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs a woman.'

and just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that ***** knows I'm smarter than her.

Note to self take the old lady shopping.
That is some funny shit.

I've read that before, but it's awesome every time.

If I was her, I would have laughed at his cleverness... then I would have kicked him in the nutsack, stole his credit card out of his pocket while he was trying to catch his breath from me kicking his nuts into his lungs, and I would buy my stuff anyway. Who's smarter now, huh? HUH? :smokin:

clever...though i dont have a woman...lol

I've seen that several times before, but it just gets better every time I read it.

I have never had that problem:D


word of advice marry a horny woman:smokin:

Hah. That is, and let me be perfectly clear...FUCKING HILLARIOUS.

However, I dont think I would bother going through that whole elaborate scheme, because I hate shopping with chics. My secret is the cold shoulder if my girl denies me my right to her vagina. Pisses her off every time. And then we'll argue for a day, maybe two, and then have amazing make-up sex. Thats my elaborate plan. ; D

Oh man that is great. I am crying right now at work!

Balls of steel!

Lol yea ive read this before, and EVERY time it puts a shiteating grin on my face. :)

Too perfect! So amazing! Must be very rewarding to get payback, it sucks getting your hopes up.

Thats priceless!

lol