I stole this from a thread at MF and thought it was fun....


Basically write a letter to anyone, make it funny, let out agression, or what have you. It can be address to another forum memember, you bf/gf, or even God.


Here is mine:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear, "US and the World Studies Teacher's Assistant"

I almost threw up when you lifted your fat arm up and I saw your hairy armpit 3 weeks ago. Try shaving once in a while, it wouldn't hurt.

Seriously, you are so fat, can you lay off the fast food and donuts for once? Save some food for others. You don't need more jelly rolls!

I have no respect for your fat self or your ant-American views. Never in my life have heard someone talk so bad about our troops. Go to HELL.

I hope choke on your next Big Mac.


Sincerely,
'stonesfan102

 

LOL!!!!

 

Dear PCola,

You worthless piece of six cylinders, you suck. You and Stephen are gay with each other and the whole forum knows about it. We don't say anything because we don't want to hurt your feelings. But then again, that's what this is for. So here goes...we don't like gay-ness on the boards, you worthless hobo. Detailing is not a career, get a job.

That is all,

King.

...hmm, I like this thread.
(MODS: that was all in good fun, please don't ban me)

 

I don't get it......rolf..

 

kings going to far with this now....

 

Dear Jack T. Ripper

You ****** rock dude.

-Jack

 

Dear Lazerred6
Have some decency and off yourself

love
FSM

 

kings mad b/c all he has is his mach1 lol

 

Its not that hard, just write a letter to someone for whatever reason.



Let's see some more letters!!!

 

Dear Stephen,
....
...,

King.

 

Spike Africa you punk *** mark *** trick *** bitch you're lucky I dont know what you look like (your probaly some black *** bitch so i would have to see you during the day) or I would bash your face in. Do yourself a favor and take your ***** as V-6 and put it up your ***** like the tampond it is. Know matter what you do you will not have a cool car. PCcola eats your ***** every night. You guys are ****. Sean stang sucks ****. You can never banned me because I quit this ***** *****! 95stangEATER is out!!! I'll never stop coming back bitch.

 

Bahahahahaha! That's great

 

Dear All Ladies of the World,

I know how much you all want me, but I am not a machine. I will make it my life long goal to try and please at least 7 a day.

-Steeda97

 

Dear Steeda97,

You can count me out of the 'ladies of the world who want you'. I am sure that you will be a walking STD before the first week is over and I don't want none of that mess. Keep your dirty, crab-infested, blistering sore covered **** away from me.

- Black Sunshine

P.S. I hope your binky turns green and falls off.



Now, this letter is for real...

Dear Compliance Officer,

I like you and you are a cool and very nice guy, even though you have the weirdest sense of humor known to mankind.

But, I swear to god, if you give me anymore letters to send, checks to make, trades to do, or letters to fold, I will make a giant ball of paper out of that **** and squish you so you look like one of those fried dogs with their tongues sticking out that they have hanging in the Chinese restaurant windows.

Please don't take this personally. You are just a royal pain in my *** and you irritate me into oblivion.



Man oh man. I'm on the kick now. I'm an angry person and I will probably write a few of these each day. They will end up turning into rants. Stay tuned for more!

 

One less i have to please. Its a burden, really.

 

Dear Homework,

I understand we have a love/hate relationship but, you're taking it too far. You should be happy I dont prostitute you to the nerdy kids for a couple of bucks. I hate you for the reasons that you come off too strong yet, i can't say no. You make me waste countless hours, yet gain so much more. Your depressing, yet satisfying. I don't understand you most of the time, yet, I'm always trying to figure you out. You always give others a reason to stereotype me. I can't stand you. I wish you could go do yourself and your mother. It's SO easy to put you somewhere that I can't see you but it never helps 'cause you never leave my mind. UGH, here you are again...

Hate&Love,
jseven

 

Dear Non-Driving Individuals of 101st Pkwy
Where the hell did you learn to drive? News flash--- The left hand lane is for passing. If you are not going faster than the cars to your right, you need to move your lame *** the hell out of my way. Despite what you may believe, you will be allowed to return to the left hand lane when, 10 miles down the road, you want to make a left hand turn! Unless however you have continually pissed me off the entire length of said roadway and I snap and put you into the wall. As everyday this becomes closer and closer to becoming a reality.

The speed limit is 55mph, not 50 or 45. Read the ******* signs!!! If you and your hunk of **** cars are not able to maintain this limit, again you need to move your lame *** the hell out of my way.

If you wish to maintain the same speed as the car in the next lane, either get in front or behind said car instead of driving side by ******* side. Again you are risking pushing over the very thin edge of sanity that I desperately cling to. Save yourself from being a statistic and move your lame *** the hell out of my way.

Sincerely Insanely Yours

 

Dear Beer,

Why did I have to promise myself sobriety untill after final exams are over? DAMMIT!

-Missing you
'stonesfan102

 

Hahaha! Well said!




Dear Thomas Heddon,

You are not a client of the firm I work for. You were the last call at my job today and you called at 4.20pm, 20 damn minutes after the market closed. When I told you that no one was in to help you trade commodities I was nice to you, with hopes that you could be a potential client. I offered to take a message or to call one of our advisors right away so they could help you. Instead, you were incredibly shitty to me and said that 'that's America, everyone is always out of the office, everyone is always busy doing something else and can do everything but take my money'.

Well, ************, take this ****. If you honestly think that is the way that all companies in America work, why the hell are you here? Take your crybaby ball-licking *** to Canada, France, or some other limp-dick country where they like whiny bitches. Do you think people have to stay at work until ******* midnight just to appease you? If not, it sure seems like it. The world does not revolve around you, Mr. Heddon.

I most certainly hope you are not married. If you are, your wife is clearly a dumb ***. Either that or you must be hung like a horse, rich as all hell, both or something else to be able to keep a woman because with an attitude like that, you couldn't amuse a ******* kitten. I am glad you pissed me off and that I hung up on you because like I told you on the phone, you can keep your damn money if your pissy attitude comes along with it. I hope you don't have any children and if you do, I hope they are nothing like you. You should have been sterilized at birth and your ***** should have been cut off and fed to wild boars.

Get bent,
Black Sunshine

Also, Mr. Thomas Heddon, I remember when you used to **** yourself... now they call it cloning.

 

*plans to call in at 4:21PM tomorrow*

 

Nice letters! lol

 

dear booze and strippers,
seperating both of you defies natural law. You Scantily clad women,showing and teasing me with your voluptious breast and grinding your behind onto my lovemaker makes me say YUM! Beer, you have seen me in both my bad days and good days and usually turn those bad into good. I look into the glass as i drink and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams and say to myself "If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.So It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true other than be selfish and worry about my liver.”
so i say cheers to strippers and booze as not only am i enjoying myself but also brightening the future of the strippers and brewers with work.
thanx
xxcpthowdyxx
.

 

Way to support the economy!!!!

 

Dear Vandal.

I would like to take a moment to thank you for costing me over $1,000 in the past month. I guess it was not enough to simply violate my wifes saturn and steal a 30g video Ipod, you also had to make another appearance and cowardly hit my wifes rear winshield at 3am with a tire iron, shattering it much the same way your uncle shattered your innocence by putting his ***** in your *** when you were sixteen years old. I hope it hurt.

Now my wife has a nice new 8g Ipod Touch that she absolutly loves, she has a new rear windshield, and i now have a video surveillance system.

So now i really hope you decide to make another appearance, and for your sake, please let it be when i am asleep, because if I am awake your are going to find me coming at you with a can of mace, a 18inch piece of steel pipe, and a dog that WILL bite. It will be the most one sided fight since the first week of the Iraq War. I will tie you up, and drive you out to rampart range road, pull a plastic bag over your head real tight and once the twitching stops i will slowly county to 100 THEN i will pull the bag off your head and leave you to rot.

and then i will go home, hug your son who calls ME dad, and have a nice cup of hot coco with the family.

 

damn,lol

 

Dear Chauncey Billups,

The Pistons suck without you. Iverson cannot run a team or Joe Dumars just won't let him completely run the show. Things just aren't the same without you here. I cannot take losing to at home all the time.

And Im ******* tired because its so late.

'stonesfan102

 

Dear Colorado Avalanche,

You suck. And all of your fans wonder why it's so easy for me to cheer for the Wings...Pshh! You wait until 55.5 seconds left in the 3rd to tie up the game then lose in the shootout. You are a pathetic excuse for a hockey team!

King

 

Dear Complete ******* Idiot
What the hell did think was going to happen when you start a fight on the side of my car???

Did you think for one ******* minute I was going to sit quietly inside my car while you played WWF against my car and on a fellow club member?? Of course not, because unlike you, I am a decent human being.

Did it make you feel like a big man to threaten me a 5'2" woman by drawing back a fist?? I'm sure you were feeling quite superior until Prez showed up and you realized you would answer to the entire ******* club. I feel sorry any women in your life because I know that they don't have any one to keep you from taking out your frustrations on them. Because that's the kind of low life scum you are.

Do you think your 2 year old son was impressed with your prowess to sucker punch an unsuspecting person?? How proud will you be when he can tell the story of how you can kick a man that is alread down and threaten and innocent woman. It's a shame he has to grow up with your sorry *** for a role model. I sincerely hope you are not the only male in his life and that he can learn how to be a real man and treat people with respect.

You are a complete waste of human flesh. It is an insult to have you in the same species. It amazes me that evolution has not taken your dumbass out of the pool by now. You are a spineless, brainless blow job should've been. You are a piece of **** bully that doesn't deserve to breath the same air as my dog.

 

Bad weekend?

lol

 

^Actually just had one incredibly bad scene that I needed to get out of my head before I went to bed. I haven't been in a situation like that for quite some time and it left me a little rattled.