Laws of Ultimate Reality

Must See · 05-26-2008, 09:41 PM

Funny but so so true.

Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor cover ing are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson 's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a prod uct that you really like, they will stop making it.

Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment

V6_Mustang_Power · 05-26-2008, 09:49 PM

lol @ most of them

mustangvsix · 05-26-2008, 10:36 PM

haha, some of those were good.

3.8for the win · 05-27-2008, 10:15 AM

Nofire · 05-27-2008, 10:52 AM

I chuckled.

05-26-2008, 09:41 PM	#1 (permalink)
Must See 8-2=6 Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Houston,TX Posts: 1,881	Laws of Ultimate Reality Funny but so so true. Law of Mechanical Repair After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. Law of Gravity Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of Probability The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law of Random Numbers If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers. Law of the Alibi If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. Variation Law If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). Law of the Bath When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. Law of Close Encounters The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. Law of the Result When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. Law of Biomechanics The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. Law of the Theater At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. The Starbucks Law As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. Murphy's Law of Lockers If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. Law of Physical Surfaces The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor cover ing are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug. Law of Logical Argument Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance If the shoe fits, it's ugly. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking A closed mouth gathers no feet. Wilson 's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy As soon as you find a prod uct that you really like, they will stop making it. Doctors' Law If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment __________________ Exhaust clip

05-26-2008, 10:36 PM	#3 (permalink)
mustangvsix 4 point 6 Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Flagstaff, Az / Los Alamos, NM Posts: 2,477	haha, some of those were good. __________________ 2001 True Blue Cobra Convertible 1 of 292 #935 built on 4/20/01

05-27-2008, 10:52 AM	#5 (permalink)
Nofire Sooner #65 Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: University of Oklahoma Posts: 692	I chuckled. __________________ 2004 Mach 1----Black--------Sold. 285HP, 304TQ I WANT MORE!!!

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05-26-2008, 09:49 PM	#2 (permalink)
V6_Mustang_Power Banned Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 1,808	lol @ most of them