For you Military Folks!
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>> US AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT (this really was the oath we had to take) >> >> >> >> "I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the >> UNITED STATES AIR FORCE because I know I couldn't hack it in the >> Army, because the Marines frighten me, and because I am afraid of >> water over waist-deep. I swear to sit behind a desk. I also swear not >> to do any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our Physical >> Training as a valid form of exercise. I promise to walk around >> calling everyone by their first name because I find it amusing to >> annoy the other services. >> >> I will have a better quality of life than those around me and will, >> at all times, be sure to make them aware of that fact. >> After completion of >> "Basic Training", I will be a lean, mean, donut-eating, Lazy-Boy >> sitting, civilian-wearing-blue-clothes, Chair-borne Ranger. I will >> believe I am superior to all others and will make an effort to clean >> the knife before stabbing the next person in th! e back. >> I will annoy those >> around me, and will go home early every day. So Help Me God!" >> >> ____________________ >> Signature >> >> ____________________ >> Date >> >> >> >> US ARMY OATH OF ENLISTMENT >> >> >> >> "I, Rambo, swear to sign away 4 years of my mediocre life to the >> UNITED STATES ARMY because I couldn't score high enough on the ASVAB >> to get into the Air Force, I'm not tough enough for the Marines, and >> the Navy won't take me because I can't swim. I will wear camouflage >> every day and tuck my trousers into my boots because I can't figure >> out how to use blousing straps. I promise to wear my uniform 24 hours >> a day even when I have a date. >> >> I will continue to tell myself that I am a fierce killing machine >> because my Drill Sergeant told me so, despite the fact that the only >> action I will see is a court-martial for sexual harassment. I >> acknowledge the fact that I will make E-8 in my first year of >> service, and vow to maintain that it is because I scored perfect on >> m! y PT test. >> After completion of my Sexual.....er.....I mean "Basic Training," I >> will attend a different Army school every other month and return >> knowing less than I did when I left. On my first trip home after Boot >> Camp, I will walk around like I am cool and propose to my 9th grade >> sweetheart. I will make my wife stay home because if I let her out >> she might leave me for a better-looking Air Force guy. Should she >> leave me twelve times, I will continue to take her back. While at >> work I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting absolutely >> nothing accomplished. I will arrive to work every day at 1000 hrs >> because of morning PT and leave everyday at 1300 to report back to >> "COMPANY." >> >> I understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will >> help me get a job upon separation, and will end up working >> construction with my friends from high school. I will brag to >> everyone about the Army giving me $30,000 for college, but will be >> unable to use it because I can't pass a p! lacement exam. So Help Me >> God!" >> >> >> _____________________ >> Signature >> >> _____________________ >> Date >> >> >> >> >> US NAVY OATH OF ENLISTMENT >> >> >> >> "I, Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away 4 years >> of my life to the UNITED STATES NAVY, because I want to hang out with >> Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought >> the Air Force was too "corporate," because I didn't want to actually >> live in dirt like the Army, and because I thought, "Hey, I like to >> swim...why not?" I promise to wear clothes that went out of style in >> 1976 and to have my name stencilled on the butt of every pair of >> pants I own. I understand that I will be mistaken for the Good Humour >> Man during summer, and for Nazi Waffen SS during the winter. I will >> strive to use a different language than the rest of the >> English-speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, >> geedunk, scuttlebutt, scuttle and head," when I really mean "floor, >> wall, hat, candy, w! ater fountain, hole in wall and toilet." >> >> I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank, and >> insignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely >> different from the other services and make absolutely no sense >> whatsoever. I will muster, whatever that is, at 0700 every morning >> unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up >> around 0930. I vow to hone my coffee cup-handling skills to the point >> that I can stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon, and >> still not spill a drop. I consent to being promoted and subsequently >> busted at least twice per fiscal year. I realize that, once selected >> for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite >> possibly illegal, whims of my newfound "colleagues." So Help Me >> Neptune!" >> >> ______________________ >> Signature >> >> ______________________ >> Date >> >> >> >> >> US MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT >> >> >> >> "I, (pick a name the police won't recognize), >> swear..uhhhh....high- >> and-tight.... grunt... cammies....kill.... fix >> bayonets....charge....slash....dig....burn.... >> blowup....ugh...Air Force >> women....beer..... sailors wives.....air strikes.... >> yes >> SIR!....whiskey....liberty call....salute.... Ooorah >> Gunny....grenades...women....OORAH! So Help Me Chesty PULLER!" >> >> X____________________ >> Thumb Print >> >> XX _________________________________ >> |
I am in the Air Force and I am offended by that. It's entirely true but I am offended by it.::p
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How did you know I worked construction when I first got out of the Army LMAO
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Yep! that was my Army oath almost to the letter!:D
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