Originally Posted by foncarelli

The Purina diet

I used to have a Pitbull & I was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a
dog(?). On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time,
but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with
tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it
was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your
pance pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel
hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story particularly a tall, hispanic guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no; I'd been sitting in
the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought the hispanic guy was going to have to stagger out the door.